It’s freshman year and you’re suddenly surrounded by members of the opposite sex in a constant blur of dining hall runs, frat parties, hazy nights (and maybe some mornings), and, of course, all-nighters. You spend a ton of time getting to know your hall mates, who you spend practically every second with while trying out some new things and some new…people. After a couple months of this whirlwind, you’re so over the incestuous hook up scene. You might find yourself realizing that the guy on your hall might not only be your good friend that you watch movies with, do homework with and go out with, but someone you’d like to leave WM’s infamously extensive and attractive, dating scene for. So, you two lock each other down officially right away and become “that couple”: the one that’s been together since freshman year, does absolutely everything together, likes all the same things, even starts to dress and look alike. You’re made for each other, you’re basically one person instead of two. You don’t want to go out unless he does, and you feel sorry for your single friends who drunkenly bring home a slew of “rando’s”, crying about unanswered texts. You’re so lucky to have found the one, and so head over heels you even put your name on the waiting list for the Wren Chapel.
The years go by and things are as serious as ever. Your families spend the holidays and plan vacations together. You rescued a baby turtle, named him Steve and now share the responsibility of keeping him alive. You may even go by one of those combination nicknames like Brangelina. Anyway, before you know it, it’s graduation day. With the romantic glow of candles, that sexy black graduation gown, and the bittersweet feeling of finishing your college careers…in the perfect moment on the Crim Dell, he kneels down, with a huge, gorgeous ring, and asks you to spend the rest of your life with him. You take in the sweet smell of the Crim Dell’s fresh, sparkling water, feel as if you’re about to faint, and jump into his arms, saying that yes, this is what you’ve always wanted, it’s a dream come true.
After a two-year long engagement, which was totally worth it for the ultimate destination wedding in Williamsburg, your spot on the Wren waiting list is up, and you two marry in front of loved ones, wedding crasher ex-frat boys, and colonial re-enactors. It’s truly a beautiful ceremony. The rest of the night is a classy after-party at the old stomping grounds, reminiscing as you jump from the Leafe to the Ho house, to Paul’s, finally ending at the College Delly, where the “bouncer” lets you skip the line because it’s your special day, enjoying it’s amazing décor, accommodating and friendly staff, and diverse, sophisticated clientele for a whole 15 minutes before you hear the symbolic, “last call.” You two live happily ever after, coming back every single homecoming, so thankful to the school that brought you together.
This little narrative was, I’m sorry to say, fictitious and doesn’t actually happen…not for most couples at William and Mary anyway, which is why we shouldn’t be desperately seeking this kind of fairytale relationship. If we are set on one idea of how things should turn out, we close off all of our other options and alternative routes to happiness by default, and that’s not cool. Of course it is great (and lucky) if you really find someone you really enjoy being with, and can by all means have a healthy and balanced relationship. As long as we don’t become completely dependent on the guy, put our own needs aside to accommodate his, and stop hanging out with friends, then we can have the best of both worlds without losing ourselves in the process. To quote my favorite shows of all time (and ironically one of my least favorite characters), “If two people have only one thought between them, something is very wrong.” Carrie Bradshaw, as annoying and neurotic as she is in every single episode of Sex and the City, sums up my point perfectly. Don’t become the person you’re with…those couples aren’t only annoying to everyone that as to be around them, but isn’t it boring to date yourself? I guess if you were as self-obsessed as Carrie is, then it would actually kinda be your ideal relationship, but that’s not really what we should strive for. You don’t have to be like my couple from the “typical” relationship described above, because, it’s not actually typical at all. If you found “the one” in college, then that is awesome, and if you didn’t, that’s awesome too.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at WM chapter.