Guys, we all know that girls can be confusing and it can be difficult to figure out what they really want. So for once we’re going to cut you some slack and tell you some first hand opinions and advice.
Situation 1: You’ve met at a party, and being the gentleman that you are you’ve walked her home and (of course!) gotten her number, what is your next step?
What you should do: The best thing to do in this scenario is to text her a cute and friendly (not overly flirtatious or sexual) message. What did you bond with her over? If it’s something like being in the same class with that horrible psychology teacher, a great (and twampy) first hangout could be studying at Mews, The Daily Grind, or Aroma’s. Another great idea is to remember something personal about her and then somehow bring it up in conversation. Knowing that you were listening and that you remember her favorite band/food/T.V show instantly makes her more attracted to you.
What not to do: Don’t wait to run into her again at another party to start the conversation. She will instantly think you are in it for the chase and a quick hook-up.
Situation 2: You’ve met a girl at a party, but didn’t get her number. You have acknowledged each other with a wave and a “Hi,” on campus, and then you run into each other again at a party. This time the two of you hook up, and then wake up the next morning realizing that you barely know each other. How do you deal with this?
What you should do: First off all, don’t turn into an a**hole in the morning to mask the awkwardness. Be nice, and maybe even walk her back to her room, but also be honest. If you’re not going to text her, just don’t tell her that you will to begin with. When you see her on campus, give her a quick, friendly “Hello,” to help diffuse her awkwardness and possible embarrassment. Don’t be rude and tell all of your ‘bros’, or worse yet, don’t spread rumors that she is easy, or about how she is in bed. This is a small campus, so the key to dealing with inevitable hook-up’s is politeness and respect. We aren’t in high school anymore after-all.
Situation 3: The girl that you met and you have now been hanging out. You’ve studied together, eaten together, and been texting regularly, but there are no labels and you’re not sure what this means.
What you should do: This situation is tricky. If the girl is comfortable enough to text you first or casually go out to eat with you, she’s definitely into it. If the two of you wind up at (or even better: plan to go to) the same party over the weekend and you end up talking to mostly each other, this is also another good sign that this could, and probably should be moving somewhere. However, any girl that doesn’t want to scare a guy off is not going to mention dating or being exclusive. Sorry guys, but that’s your job! If you’ve been less interested in other girls recently and are exclusively hanging out with her, tell her. We can’t read your minds, and even if we may feel that our connection is at that point, we won’t tell you, and we may even keep flirting with other guys to keep up appearances. On the other end, if you’ve been hanging out with her quite a lot but have also been casually hooking up, be sure she knows. It really isn’t fair to let a girl believe that you’re falling for her when she is one of many. This way she can keep on meeting guys and keep her field open as well.
Situation 4: The girl you’ve been hanging out with has been passive-aggressive through text messages, but sweet in person. She leaves making plans only up to you, and you know she’s been talking to other guys but she never mentions it around you, and avoids the subject completely.
If you’re confused by the differences between how she acts in person, and how she seems through a screen, she’s probably just as confused. She obviously likes you and enjoys your company, but she is wondering what the next step is and where you stand. Being standoffish through text and unwilling to make the plans (leaving it all up to you) is a sign of insecurity in your connection. You haven’t proven to her that this is going anywhere and she doesn’t want to bother you. If you make all the plans, she knows that she isn’t forcing the connection.
What you should do: Don’t call her out on the duality of her actions. Instead figure out what you want and tell her. If you’re not ready to be exclusive or begin dating, at least prove your affections for her by playfully saying “Hey, you plan something we do this week!” or “When would you like to hang out?” to show her that she can sometimes call the shots too.
Situation 5: You’ve been dating a new girl for about a month. Now it’s her birthday and you’re not sure what, if anything, you’re supposed to do for her.
What you should do: Do something fun and sweet for her. This early, jewelry isn’t necessary. Just show her that you care and know her well. I asked around a bit, and I heard everything from a simple dinner date or flowers, to raunchier and more daring personalized gifts. The important thing is the idea, not the money spent. She will be happy that you’re recognizing it, being original, and most importantly, showing that you care.
Situation 6: You were at a mixer or other party without your girlfriend and drunkenly made-out with another girl. Lucky for you, our campus is small enough that it managed to get back to her. She is so upset that she won’t talk to you. What should you do to prove to her that you still care?
What you should do: This is the ultimate time to suck-up. Seriously. Even if she seems unresponsive to your pleas and apologies at first, don’t simply give up if you still care. All she wants is reassurement that you still care about her. After all, remember that this is a huge blow to her pride. I got creative and asked some random girls on campus what they would want a boyfriend to do if he had cheated and was sorry. The number #1 answer was: Don’t give up! Girls said they’d want guys to get them flowers, to serenade them, and to do a variety of other (cheesy) yet romantic things. I know of one boyfriend who serenaded his girlfriend during sorority meeting after a fight, which was absolutely adorable. This is the time to put aside your manhood and tap into your romantic size…or lose her for good.