I have been on the receiving end of a bad case of “flirting addiction.” My story begins with a man who I will call Justin. Justin loved to flirt all the time. As a rule, it seems, he flirted with any girl who he was friends with. I soon became his friend this year. He was nice and attentive, and teased a lot. But soon that teasing became a flirtation on his part. I was confused for the longest time. Did he like me? His texts were extremely flirtatious, in a bantering way. We had been texting this way for a couple of weeks now, and I was positive that he liked me. Or so I thought.
I especially thought that during one Saturday night. Justin texted asking me if I would like to go to a party with him. When he arrived to pick me up, he called me “gorgeous” and would never leave my side at the party. At one point , he kept looking at me intently. He told me that I looked beautiful and that “I was one of the most beautiful girls he knows.” I was pretty flattered, and to admit, very flustered. I graciously thanked him and thought that my suspicions were correct. Justin did like me! I began to see him in a different light, as someone who I potentially liked as more then just a friend.
The next day, I found out that he was in a relationship, and he had been for a couple of weeks. Needless to say I was shocked and hurt. I felt betrayed. I confronted Justin and he told me that he was sorry and that he didn’t like me like that. I was very hurt.
Flirting is harmless when you know you are not hurting anyone. Flirting is a part of our nature, and I for one am always flirting with someone I like. But sometimes it is hard to see that flirting is only reserved for those who you are truly interested in and attracted to. Those you are flirting with start to believe in what you say to them, and it can hurt them when they find out the truth.
There are a couple of ways to discover “flirting addiction” and how to prevent it from hurting you:
1. See how he interacts with other girls – He could also be flirting with them in the same way he does with you. You will then know to take him seriously or not.
2. Take it Slow – Don’t immediately become crazy about him after a few conversations. Get to know him as a person and as a friend. Find out who he is as a person.
3. Don’t Jump to Conclusions – Don’t assume that he likes you because he’s attentive or compliments you excessively.
4. Talk to him about your relationship with him/your feelings – Things can get out of hand quickly if you can’t define your relationship with him. Be honest with him about your confusion about your relationship and feelings for him. Let him know how you feel.
5. Be Careful! – As I like to say “Protect your heart.” Don’t let your guard down until you know FOR SURE that he truly likes you back, and honesty up front is key to knowing that.
Even though this is a negative side of flirting, there’s no harm in doing it so long as you keep these tips in mind! Happy scouting, ladies!