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Her Campus / Addie Abujade

Ladies, it’s time to strip–okay, maybe not literally (though if you feel like it, go for it!).But it’s time to start losing the layers of insecurity, shame, and apprehension that most of us tend to clothe ourselves in when it comes to being in the bedroom with someone. Being intimate with someone should be fun and exciting with both parties feeling safe, electric, and pleased. 

It can be daunting becoming physical with someone, your skin blushes with vulnerability and shifts with insecurity and suddenly the room is too bright and you’re too exposed. There’s unspoken pressure weighing heavily on the mood. Do I arch my back like this? Turn my head like that? Is this how I’m supposed to be moving my hips? Every move is overthought, every angle feels like the wrong one, and when their hands touch the parts of you that you fret over, sex is no longer carefree–it’s downright intimidating. 

Now, this is where I step in to remind you that you’re that bitch –a.k.a a force to be reckoned with. I am here to tell you that you’re beautiful, you’re powerful, and you deserve to feel good. Women are always being told what they need to do, what they need to say, what is sexy, what is a turnoff; the list, upsettingly, goes on and on. But it’s time to reclaim our sexuality, be proud to know what we want, and aim to get it. 

Being in your body and loving it all of the time can feel very impossible. With society’s standards, surrounding opinions, and self doubt, it can be easy to look in the mirror and not like what you see. I have asked myself countless times, “If I don’t like my body, how could anyone else?” I have pinched at my flesh, sucked in until it was hard to breathe, and have traced my fingers over every stretchmarked line wishing my body felt and looked different. It’s hard loving yourself, making it hard to feel confident in your body which in turn can make the act of becoming intimate feel like something that’s unachievable. But self love and body confidence is a constant progress, there are good and bad days. Progress is progress, though! 

Your body is a magical vessel. It provides for you, cares for you, and wants the best for you. It may spill in some places or curve in others, freckle in some areas, have stretch marks here and there; it is all beautiful, it is sacred. You are a powerful woman with a body to match that energy–no matter how it looks! All bodies want to be pleased, so why not let yours feel good? 

The person that you’re with should be someone that makes you feel comfortable, safe, and hot (because you so are). It can be hard to communicate with your partner; you want to feel good, you want them to feel good, but it can be difficult to express what you like and dislike in fear of being judged or them not understanding. However, always remember  communication is key, and so is consent–if they are doing something you don’t like, speak up. Your partner should listen to you and understand. And if your partner is doing something you DO like? Tell them that you like it! There needs to be an open dialogue between the both of you so that you both are doing things the other person enjoys. 

Intimacy can feel like a challenge, but just remember that sex should be fun! When you’re in that bedroom (or wherever you like to get frisky) remind yourself that you are beautifully made, you deserve to feel good, and let your partner know what is and isn’t acceptable. I know it can be easy to slip into a mindset where you question every move you make and overthink how you look or sound, but trust me, when you allow yourself to get out of your head and focus on your partner and how good you’re feeling, it makes the moment so much more enjoyable. 

So when the moment feels right and you’re in the mood, take it all off! Let go of that worry, release that stress, and let yourself feel confident, sexy, and good. Believe me girl, you look amazing and you absolutely deserve to be pleased. Whew, is it getting hot in here? 

Hi! I'm Gabby Wilson, and I am a junior at WKU. I am a double major in creative writing and criminology, where I get to remain passionate in my love for both writing and criminal justice. I love the show "Friends" with my whole heart and quote from it daily. Thrifting, traveling, writing, reading, baking, and embroidering are just a few things out of many that make me happy!
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