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Why I believe I Have Never Been in a Relationship

Andrea Brehovska Student Contributor, University of Wisconsin - Madison
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wisconsin chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Everyone has different reasons for not dating people. Here are mine.

For some strange reason, I have spent the last week thinking about why I have never dated anyone. Ever. Yup, that’s right, in my 19 years of life I have never been in a relationship. It may seem strange, and the reason I have always gone to is, “I’m not pretty enough.” However, I think deep down there are other reasons too. 

I am not saying this is all my fault, or all society’s fault, but I do believe there are some factors that have influenced both sides. 

1. I am way too insecure.

One fun trait about myself is that I am way too insecure. I care way too much about what other people think of me. And I do believe that I am not good enough, whether it be smart, skinny, or pretty enough. 

I often believe that many of my friends are in relationships when I am not because they are a lot prettier than me. However, I think that the real reason is that they are a lot more confident than I am. I’m way too scared to ever go up to guys I think are cute in public. I am also way too insecure to wear certain clothes, or do certain things. And I think that this insecurity radiates off of me in such a way that turns other people away, whereas if I was confident, it would do the opposite.

2. I am too scared.

I think deep down I am afraid. Maybe it’s because it seems like everyone on the planet has been in a relationship except me. Or maybe it’s because I know things like that would make me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be uncomfortable if I don’t need to be. Nonetheless, I am afraid. Afraid of what might happen, what could happen. I think I’m also afraid of people judging me. Afraid of them judging me for dating a certain person, or doing certain things. And I let that rule over me. 

So instead of going out of my comfort zone and into the unknown, I choose to avoid it. What’s ironic is that I often tend to do things I’m afraid of, yet for some strange reason, this one sticks.

3. I get the ick way too easily.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CH7SIBgBBaO/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I hate the word ick, but it gets the point across well. I think that in my entire lifespan, I have not liked someone longer than a week. This is because any minor weird thing someone does immediately makes me no longer like them. Now, I don’t think that this is because that person is actually doing something strange. I think it’s more so the fear of what would happen if they liked me back, and feeling like I’m too insecure for them. I think that these two things have combined into an ick that I can easily get. 

These are just a few of the reasons why I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m sure things like Covid, being in a college atmosphere and hating dating apps are all linked to it, too. But I do believe that my personal issues and fears take some responsibility for all of it.

Andrea Brehovska

Wisconsin '25

Hey! I am a psychology and double track journalism major with a textile and designs certificate studying at the University of Wisconsin! I am originally from Prague, Czech Republic, but I grew up in the Bay Area, California! I absolutely love to travel and have done exchange semesters in Australia and Nepal while in University!