As a junior in college who has literally never dated someone long-term, I feel like I have a lot to say on being single. I know this probably sounds super cliché, but I have learned so much about myself, relationships and people in general from being single and surrounded by couples. Obviously there are a lot of moments where I would love to have a nice “manz,” especially during what the youngins’ call “cuffing season” and even more during the holidays. But for the most part, I have been and continue to be really content being single. Now, just a disclaimer: this article is not me ripping on people who are or have been in relationships. If you currently have or previously have had a significant other and been in a relationship, heck yes! Go you — I am SO happy for you! But, for those of us that haven’t, it’s sometimes nice to have a reminder on why it’s okay, and sometimes the best, to be single.
The funniest part about my “single situation” is that somehow, even though I have no relationship experience, I was (and still am) the person that my friends come to with their relationship problems or for dating advice. How does that make sense? I couldn’t tell you. But, I feel like seeing all these problems happen from a third party point of view helped me to learn a lot about what I do and don’t want in a relationship. Witnessing and hearing about the fights showed me how important communication and honesty is in a relationship. I have learned about trust and what it looks like and what it can do for a relationship. I have learned about what I look for in someone else and what I hope to offer in a relationship. Now I am by no means saying I know what a perfect relationship looks like or that I, myself, am going to have a perfect relationship, because I don’t and I won’t. But, perfect relationships don’t exist, and being on the outside looking in has allowed me to see and understand that on a deeper level.
Growing up, I was always the single one in my friend groups. I went to a super small high school where it felt like everyone around me was dating someone at all times; I will admit it could get really frustrating. But, I can tell you that now, after being graduated from high school for three years, I am SO happy I didn’t date anyone. High school, and college for that matter, are some of the hardest and most transitional periods in a person’s life. You are figuring out who you are, what you like, what you want, what your dreams are and where you want to go. Not having a significant other allows you to explore and adventure off in ways you may not have been able to if you were in a relationship. Being single has allowed me to learn a ton about myself and grow so much as a person and as a woman. I was able to leave high school and come to college with a completely clean slate and focus fully on myself. I have been able to become so much more independent and self-sufficient because I have dealt with all of the changes and struggles by myself. I have been able to explore my beliefs and passions, and I have formulated different goals and dreams. I have been able to work on my confidence and my self love so that I can be the best person I can be and go where I want in life. When you don’t have a significant other, it allows SO much more room for you to focus on yourself. Be selfish, be adventurous, be curious and be YOU.
Another benefit of being single that I have experienced is the focus that I have been able to put on my friends, family and school/career. My family and my friends mean the world to me, and I have been able to create and cultivate these relationships in a way that I may not have been possible had I had a significant other I spent most of my time with. My family and friends are my rocks and I do my best to be their rock too. I have been able to better my relationships and spend so much quality time with the people in my life, and it has completely changed me (wow, if I got a penny for everytime I said something dramatic in this article, I would be as rich as Jeff Bezos). Relationships can, and often do, come and go, but friends and family are constant. At the same time, my school and future career also rank pretty high in my priorities. Being single in high school allowed me to explore my options for post-graduation, whether that be college or not. I was able to apply for and pick my school without having to worry about distance. I was able to explore what college meant for me and what college could be for me. In addition, being single allows you to explore in terms of jobs as well, which I have been experiencing more as I near senior year and graduation. I have been able to focus on my goals and apply for internships and think about jobs that are everywhere and anywhere that my heart desires. As someone who plans to move to a big city far from Wisconsin after school, thinking about being in a relationship when moving time comes is scary. So, by being single, I have been able to open so many more doors and options for myself.
The last reason being single is okay, and sometimes the best, is the FREE TIME. Yes ladies and gents, being single does allow your amount of free time to increase — what a shocker there. By being single, I have decreased the amount of time-commitments that I have, so I have been able to do and experience so much. I am able to participate in different clubs and events, read books, meet new people and hang out with friends, go home on the weekends and just enjoy the extra time I have that is not spent studying. Obviously if you have someone that you love and care about, you will want to spend time with them, and that’s not a bad thing in any way, shape or form. But, if you don’t have that special someone, utilize that time and take advantage of it. Explore who you are and what you like, have a fling here and there, read a good book or binge watch an entire season of Friends in one night. Do what makes YOU happy and enjoy that time that you have to yourself.
Although there are a million more reasons why being single is okay and sometimes the best, I have to cut this article off at some point. Like I said at the beginning, if you have been or are currently in a relationship, I am not shaming you or saying it is a bad thing — in fact, I am quite jealous. I just know what it is like to struggle with being single and alone, and I know how important it is to read positive reminders like these. Being single can be the best thing in the world and is all about what you make of it. If you’re in a relationship, go give your bae a kiss (ew, I hate that I just used the word bae), but if you’re single… ENJOY IT.