Ask any girl what she thinks guys think about in the shower, and her answer will most definitely mention girls or sex. Well, this week I put this presumption to the test, figuring I was about to have some humorous, if not awkward, conversations. The responses I got might surprise you.
I began my investigation by interrupting an apparent sing-a-long to Miguel’s “Sure Thing” to question my floormates Austin and Aaron:
Lily: So guys, tell me your thoughts, what do you think about in the shower?
Austin: “Hmm, I don’t think… I like to sing…”
Aaron: “What!?”
Austin: “Yeah, I don’t care. Judge me”
Aaron: “Well for me it kinda goes everywhere. Shampoo check. Soap check. Towel.”
Austin: “Wait you don’t use conditioner!?”
Aaron: “Ehhh… I don’t enjoy my shower I just kinda do it quick and go. It’s a shower.”
Lily: “Wait so using conditioner is what makes your shower enjoyable?”
Austin: “Yes.” Aaron: “No.”
Simultaneously, while skeptically looking at one another: “What?”
With a “huh….” I leave them to debate the importance of conditioner while I ask Will and Noah the ever-important question.
Noah: *Raises his eyebrows at Will. Looks at me skeptically. Nods for Will to answer first.*
Will: “Uhhh how cold it is… at first. And then it’s too hot. But then it’s warm and I’m comfortable. *laughs* Were you expecting something sexual?”
Lily: “Well yeah, of course.”
Will: “…I mean once I get cozy I’ll think about things…”
***Ah hah! So guys do think about sex***
Noah: “You know what I think about? *smirks* I think about what other people are thinking about in the shower.”
Lily: “Oooooh that’s a good answer. Not like that’s why I’m here questioning you guys or anything…”
*Both laugh*
Realizing neither want to elaborate on their thoughts, I move on to the next room.
Devin: “I don’t know… songs go through my head… And why are the showers so gross!? I think about what would happen if people opened the curtain…”
Lily: “I think about that all the time! Or if the fire alarm went off – yikes!
*laughter*
“So what song did you sing to yourself this morning?”
Devin: “The Price is Right was definitely going through my head…”
So if you open the shower curtain on Devin, be prepared to find him jamming out to The Price is Right theme song…
My phone buzzes. The response I get from my friend Andre is more along the lines of what I’d been expecting… “Sex in its many forms.” I KNEW IT. My phone buzzes again. “Haha no actually… I typically just think about whatever I’m about to go do after I shower.” Keyword: typically. But you do still think about sex.
As I’m walking down the hall, I hear a shower in the men’s bathroom running. Do you know how tempted I was to march in there and question this mystery boy!? “ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT GIRLS OR SEX RIGHT NOW?!” I don’t know how I restrained myself. Instead I went into another room.
Lily: “Quick, what do you think about in the shower!!!”
Kody: *taking wayyyy to long to respond* “Uhhhh… How about… school?”
Carlos: “Dude, what!? Who the f*ck thinks about school in the shower!? Who says that!?”
Lily: “I mean, sometimes I think about how much homework I still haven’t done…”
So. Much. Homework.
Carlos: “Oh yeah, I do that. But otherwise…”
*both keep exchanging looks*
Carlos: “Hmm can I go take a shower!? I don’t know? I guess I just think about getting myself clean? Like I’m in the shower, that’s what I’m focusing on? I’m taking a shower…”
Lily: “Not sex? I figured I’d hear a lot more about sex.”
Kody: *smirks*
Carlos: “I mean yeah. Ok. Maybe I lied.”
*** AHA. THEY’RE ALL LYING. ***
And that’s the verdict. My interviewees seemed to leave any juicy details out. I even told the guys their comments could be anonymous, but maybe they just didn’t want to reveal their inner-most thoughts to someone they see every day? Have I debunked a common stereotype? Are guys not the sex-crazed beings we assume them to be? Doubtful.