It can be scary, but the pros outweigh the cons
When you reach winter break of sophomore year, it can feel a little weird. College isn’t this novel thing anymore and now there’s people in your hometown that you haven’t hung out with or talked to since June. It feels like there’s been so much time since you’ve talked to these people, but also no time at all. It can feel like once you go to college, it’s college friend time and once you go back home, it’s hometown friend time. But recently, I have been trying to blur the lines between these sharp distinctions in the location and time that I dedicate to my friends.
I have never been the greatest texter. I’m very dry over text, and I much prefer face–to–face conversation. Because of this, now that I have settled into college life and found so many amazing friends, I have come to realize that when I’m in Madison, I don’t talk to my hometown friends as much. I also notice that when I am home for summer or winter break, I also don’t talk that much to my college friends. It’s something that stems from this irrational fear of being ignored or not getting a response. I just wait for people to text or call me. Once I reflected on this, I realized that I was actually the one doing the ignoring. How were my friends supposed to know that I wanted to talk to them if I didn’t make any sort of effort?
I felt dumb for realizing this so late in my life, but a lesson learned a little late is still a lesson learned. I convinced myself that reaching out to my friends or people that I haven’t seen in a while was not actually as big of a deal as I made it out to be. It didn’t have to be this grandiose expression of something insane that had happened to me, it could just be a small check–in with someone that I know that I want to keep in my life.
With social media ruling over my life, I think that I “know” what’s going on in my friends’ lives by the photos and videos that they post, but I’ve realized that I don’t actually understand what is happening. I don’t know if they’ve been having fun, if they’ve done something crazy or if they’ve actually been having a rough semester. With this in mind, I’ve been more dedicated to sending my friends texts and actually trying to understand what’s going on in their lives. While the once-every-three-months update is fun and exciting, it’s not what I feel like should be happening, especially with the people that I care about.
Reaching out can be a little scary. It can feel like it’s forced and like you’re doing “small talk” with people you’ve known forever, but it’s just one more thing to stay actually connected with the people that you care about. There’s nothing fake about it because you’re taking the time to deeply understand the workings of the lives of the people you care about.