Trading Criticism for Compassion
I am judgy. It has been a hard pill to swallow, but I’ve realized it is true. I judge myself all day, every day. I judge others on my walk to class, in class and on social media. All this being said, I am terrified of being judged. I hate the idea that someone, just like myself, could be silently judging me on my walk to class, in class and on social media.
It is hard to come to realize, but I think a lot of us are more innately judgmental than we’d like to admit. This somewhat new realization has put conscious thoughts into my brain about what I can do to skip the judgment. Judging myself and others does absolutely nothing for me. If anything, it makes me feel worse about myself and puts me in a bad mood.
I am constantly judging myself for if I get enough done in a day, if I worked out, if I ate the way I wanted to, if I looked the way I wanted to, what I wore, how I presented myself, and so much more. Did I read today? Did I spend too much money today? Did I call my family today? These are all questions that invade my brain at any given moment and instead of acknowledging them and letting them pass, I judge myself for what my answers to these questions are.
Making a conscious decision to wake up and not judge myself for the way I am feeling has made a world of difference. Waking up tired, irritated, happy, energized—it doesn’t matter—I allow myself to acknowledge these feelings without judgement, and tailor my day to those feelings. If I don’t have time to get to everything I wanted to get to in one particular day, instead of ruminating in judgment, I acknowledge what I did get done and what I can do moving forward. It is not a testament to my capabilities nor my character.
As for judging others, I am so much more aware of this now that I have come to accept that it is something I, regretfully, do. I am consciously telling myself on a daily basis, that I do not know anyone’s circumstances but my own, and I am in no place to judge anyone for anything. I do not understand why someone does something the way they do, and I don’t ever need to know.
All this being said, it is a work in progress to skip the judgment. Letting go of self-judgement and judgement of others is not easy and it will not come overnight. Skip the judgment of the process. One day might be better than the next; do not judge yourself for that.