Ladies, get out your pens and notebooks, because it’s about time to learn the basics about your body… you know…down there.
According to a 2007 study by the Kinsey Institute, 62 percent of women currently partnered in a relationship say they are very satisfied with the frequency/consistency of orgasm. While this is more than half, it still begs the question: why are women not reaching orgasm more often?
Well perhaps one of the issues with female sexuality is how little we actually know about our bodies. For instance, did you know that every female-bodied person has a g-spot? Or that only 25% of women consistently orgasm during vaginal sex? Or how about when a lady says, “my vagina is sweating,” she probably means that her vulva is sweating?
It turns out these are important questions, because understanding one’s body can help a woman uncover what it is that scratches her individual itch, which can then lead to healthier discussion with a partner. Keeping that in mind, below is a breakdown of important information on female sexual organs and the coveted female orgasm. This is, of course, not 100 percent comprehensive, and more thorough and technical information can be found in books like Our Bodies, Ourselves or in pieces by authors like Susan K. Pastor, as examples.
One common and totally WRONG misconception about the clitoris is that it’s just a little nub, when in fact the majority of the clitoris is internal and is similar in structure to the penis. The clitoris is actually the only human organ—male or female—with the sole purpose of providing pleasure, so this not-so-little structure is particularly important for satisfaction. The gland (AKA the nub part) has the highest concentration of nerve endings in the human body and the structure under the skin is made of erectile tissue.
When a woman becomes aroused, the clitoris swells with blood, much like a penis. Her vulva (what we tend to call the vagina, aka the external sexual organs) and vagina (the vaginal canal) will also deepen in color as blood rushes south. This blood rush will also cause the vaginal walls to “sweat,” causing much of the wetness that occurs during arousal.
During vaginal penetration, the G-Spot, (whose medical term is “urethral sponge”, but that doesn’t have quite as sexy of a ring to it) can be stimulated. The G-Spot can be felt about one inch into the vagina and up towards the belly button. It has a spongy texture and is considered to be equivalent to the male prostate (AKA women DO ejaculate; some more, some less).
The kicker about the G-Spot is that its stimulation doesn’t automatically equal orgasm. In fact, many women find the sensation uncomfortable or unpleasant. That’s kind of the funny thing about sexuality: not everything feels good to everyone.
Because of the way the internal clitoris wraps around the vagina, stimulation of this ultra-sensitive organ can occur many ways, including through indirect stimulation through vaginal sex. Anal sex may also lead to orgasm because of the set of nerve endings found both through shallow and deep penetration. Of course, pleasure through direct stimulation to the clitoris (either through oral sex, fingering, toys or the right kind of bump and grind) can lead to powerful orgasms.
The point of all this mumbo jumbo is that it really isn’t mumbo jumbo and that understanding your own body and how it reacts to sexual encounters can help you uncover your sexual preferences, hopefully leading to overall greater satisfaction.
So, some quick pointers:
· You deserve to orgasm too!
· Make sure you are fully aroused before attempting to get off. A man would never try to orgasm without a fully erect penis, so why would you try without a fully erect clitoris?
· Test the waters (safely and consensually) with what turns you on. Vaginal intercourse, which is what we normally think of when we think of “sex,” is oftentimes not the best way to achieve an orgasm. Maybe oral is your only path to nirvana and maybe you (with or without a partner) can go on an exploratory mission to lands unknown.
· Communication is key! Have an open dialogue (before, during and after sex) with your partner on what you want, what (s)he wants and how you both can work together to have a fun, healthy sexual experience.
· Keep yourself educated and always know your limits. Never force yourself to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with ,and be respectful of your partners’ wishes too.
· Use protection! Enjoy your sex life! Love yourself!
Now, let us bask in the sexually invigorating glory that is Beyonce.
References:
Hornstein, Theresa M. and Schwerin, Jeri Lynn. Biology of Women (5th edition). Delmar, 2013. ISBN10: 143540033X ; ISBN13: 9781435400337
Worcester, Nancy; Mariamne Whatley (editors). Women’s Health: Readings on Social, Economic, and Political Issues (5th edition), Kendall/Hunt, 2009. ISBN: 0757559689; ISBN13: 9780757559686
Johnson, Jennifer. “The Truth About Your Clitoris.” Women’s Health. 5 Worchester, Whatley Dubuque: Kendall/Hunt Publishing Company, 2009. 454-455. Book.