Why This Phrase Might Be Holding Us Back
You’ve probably heard someone say, “I’m just a girl” as a joking excuse for not knowing how to do something. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. It started as a lighthearted ironic phrase but, over time, it seems to have shifted into something more common—and I really don’t like it.
At first glance, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Saying, “I’m just a girl” when struggling to parallel park, figure out taxes or manage a budget can feel like a harmless way to laugh at yourself. But when it becomes a regular way to explain mistakes, it starts to reinforce old ideas that women are naturally less capable in certain areas. The reality is, no one is born knowing how to do everything. Struggling has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with experience and learning.
Of course, there are historical reasons why women may not have been taught certain skills as often as men. Gender roles shaped who was encouraged to handle what, and we’re still seeing the effects of that today. But that doesn’t mean we’re naturally worse at things. When we use “I’m just a girl” as an excuse– even as a joke it can make it easier to accept those outdated stereotypes instead of pushing back against them.
It also affects how others see us. Women have long had to work harder to be taken seriously in workplaces, classrooms and leadership roles. If we joke about being bad at certain things just because we’re women (even if we don’t mean it seriously) it can reinforce the idea that we don’t see ourselves as capable. That’s not to say we should never joke about our mistakes. However, there’s a difference between laughing at ourselves in the moment and constantly downplaying our abilities in a way that sticks.
This could also impact younger girls. When they hear women repeatedly say things like, “Oh, I can’t do that, I’m just a girl,” they might start believing it applies to them, too. Instead of seeing challenges as things they can figure out, they might assume certain skills just aren’t meant for them. The way we talk about ourselves shapes what others– especially young girls– think is possible for them.
None of this means we have to pretend we know everything. It’s completely okay to ask for help, admit when we’re struggling and laugh at ourselves along the way. However, there’s a difference between not knowing how to do something and making it sound like women in general are bad at it. The more we say it, the more it sinks in– not just for us, but for other people too. Instead of saying, “I’m just a girl,” we should reframe it.