Being alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing
With the transition to college and a global pandemic it can feel very isolating to return to our hometowns for winter and summer break. You go from being surrounded by all of your friends everyday to being mostly alone, with your family as your main company. This situation can feel very isolating or depressing, but I promise it’s not the end of the world.
The summer after my senior year of high school, amidst a pandemic, I spent most of my time alone or with my family. I didn’t have the routine of school everyday keeping me amongst my friends constantly, and I quickly realized that without seeing my high school friends everyday that there was not much else holding the friendships together. Thus, when I graduated and had shutdown restrictions I was forced to spend my time with myself.
My first tip for navigating being alone at home is to find three different types of hobbies to occupy yourself with. The first hobby is one to keep you active. This can be going to the gym, walking your dog, hiking, etc. I found that when the weather was nice at home, I really enjoyed going on bike rides with my mom. This kept me from laying around the house everyday and allowed me to have something to look forward to everyday. Another good hobby to have is something that allows you to be creative. I found myself painting, drawing and I even took up embroidery which I still enjoy doing in my free time. However, if you don’t think you are the most crafty person there are other ways to be creative. You could find new music and create different playlists, take up cooking and try out new recipes, or even try out photography and photo editing. The last type of hobby you should have is one to expand your knowledge and keep your mind busy. My favorite way to keep my mind busy is to read different books, but you could also watch different documentaries, go to museums or art galleries or simply watch new TV shows that interest you.
It might seem like a lot to have to find new hobbies for yourself, especially ones that are quite different from each other, but I think it is really useful to have a wide array of things that you find interesting. When you are looking for something to do, you don’t get bored or burn yourself out with one specific interest because you have so many options.
My second tip for navigating being alone is to acknowledge that it can feel very sad and isolating. It is hard to transition from being surrounded by friends every single day of the week to potentially only seeing your friends once a week, if at all. This is why it is important to let yourself feel and process your emotions. It can be much more detrimental to you to bottle up your emotions or try to distract yourself from being sad. I think within our society and especially within high school, we are told and expected to have lots of friends and that if we aren’t super popular then something is wrong with us. Yet, as I get older and experience adult life, the more I realize this is genuinely not the case. Much of adult life is being by yourself. Sure you have friends, coworkers and significant others but at the end of the day, the only person who you will be with 24/7 is yourself.
My last and most challenging tip is to learn how to be content with yourself. Being alone gives you lots of time to reflect on yourself and who you want to be, and I think this is a good thing. Being alone over summer and winter breaks has allowed me to really discover what my values are and how I think about myself. This in turn allows me to realize what I truly value in friendships and relationships that I am building and will build in the future.
We are often told that being alone is not a good thing. We should be in relationships or have lots of friends, but when we are taken out of the environment where we are immediately with our friends, we might not know how to be by ourselves. Learning to be content in being alone is a process and it takes time, but I find it very rewarding in the end. Being alone at home and away from school allows you to realize what you value in others and in yourself, as well as allowing you to learn your limits and when you need time for yourself. If you are feeling alone for the first time or are still learning how to be content, I promise it is not the end of the world and that being by yourself can turn out to be a good thing.