Embrace your opinions
As soon as we can speak, we are taught that hate is a strong word. I remember being scolded by my parents every time the word even grazed my mind, let alone said aloud. With the negative connotation this word holds, people avoid it. We are taught to love and appreciate everything, even if it comes from an ingenuine place. I have only one thing I have to say about this stigma: I hate it. In my eyes, love and hate are not opposites, they are complimentary. I am a thorough believer that you need to let the hate in, not only because it makes us unique, but also because it makes us appreciate the things we love even more.Â
This revelation did not come to me overnight. It started when I began to make a running list of things I hate in my notes app. I know that there is a difference between disliking something and hating it, so I want to clarify: I passionately, definitionally, hate the things on this list. These are things that boil my blood more than anything else ever could and I wish I could eradicate them from the earth. It is more than a dislike, it is a burning, fiery hatred. Even with that, I didn’t want to seem like a negative person, so instead of complaining to people, I complained to my phone.Â
Now that the cat is out of the bag and I am preaching how we need to embrace our opinions, here are some things on my list: country music, avocados, being cold, crying babies on airplanes, loud noises in public spaces, and slow walkers. The list goes on so I’ll cap it there, but you get the idea. These may seem like silly things that aren’t worth my energy, and maybe that’s true. But the reality is we all have little things that really set us off, and we are told from a young age to hide them. Smile through it no longer — I am here to tell you that hating things does not make you a hateful person. I am here to pose a question: without hating certain things in life, how can you love others?
One thing I have failed to mention is that along with this silly little list of things I hate in my notes app is a list of things I love. I love when it rains, drinking boba, stargazing, driving through tunnels, lightning and putting someone onto a good song. This list is twice as long as the last, but I need them both regardless. The importance of appreciating the little things in life is just as important as despising them to me.Â
I said that this revelation did not come to me overnight, that it was a process. Well, this process ended when both of these lists were created. I started to think about the things I hate, and I realized that those things helped me think of things I love and vice versa. It was an ebb-and-flow type of ordeal; an eternal balance. You cannot love without hate, and you cannot hate without love. This idea, that both are essential for life, was one that really opened my eyes. It changed my perspective and alleviated any shame I felt for ranting to my friends about a bad grade or feeling outrageous amounts of road rage by a bad driver.Â
We are always going to hate things; it is an inherent trait of humans. But the real beauty comes when we no longer suppress our hateful side. It comes when we cherish the things in life that send us into a spiral. That way, when something that we love happens, it’s that much sweeter than before.Â