A reflection from a recovering perfectionist
In society, there is a very traditional concept of what constitutes a successful career. Personally, I was ingrained to do well in high school in order to be accepted into a good college where I would take classes to find my true passion and eventually, turn this into a career. I pictured promotions, climbing a career ladder and striving to be at the top of my field. My dad, who worked in the business field, especially pushed this narrative, and it became what I thought I wanted for myself.
Growing up, however, I was the type of person who had an endless array of different interests. I loved painting, writing and photography. My ideal day was spent with my best friend, scouring thrift stores with an iced latte in hand. Boredom was not and is not something that I have much experience with.
When I entered high school, the pressure mounted to choose a passion. Guidance counselors, my parents and other adults were certain that if I just decided what I was “most passionate about,” I’d have my major, my university and eventually, my career path all figured out. This streamlined path to success was presented to me as the most logical order of making a life for myself.
Ultimately, however, I realized that a traditional career path does not align with my values. To pour my time entirely into one passion would force me to abandon many of my other interests – even ones as simple as having time to take fun workout classes. I experienced this last semester when my heavy workload led me to dedicate almost all of my time to reading and preparing for exams. Working out, my creative projects, reading for fun and many of my other core interests fell to the wayside. I did better than I expected in most of my classes, but this didn’t give me the sense of accomplishment I had envisioned. Instead, I left Madison feeling like I lost a large part of myself.
This semester, I have decided that my goal is to not lose sight of who I am, resisting falling into the pursuit of the best opportunities and perfect grades. I want to become more comfortable with the fact that my traditional “career” might be a job that affords me the financial and physical freedom to pursue my other interests and hobbies. If this resonates with you, it’s time to stop giving into the narrative that you are simply indecisive or lesser of a human being for not wanting to give everything you have to achieve success in a single field. Instead, I have realized that this means the joy you derive from life may not come from your nine-to-five.
I know that I feel most myself when wandering through thrift stores, starting new DIY projects, scrolling through Pinterest and journaling. I could see myself starting a business, maybe selling travel journals. I could see myself writing and publishing my work on social media. I could see myself working at a bridal salon on weekends, a goal I’ve had since I first became obsessed with the show Say Yes to the Dress in middle school. Whether in a traditional career path or pursuing side hustles, I hope I always remember there is an endless amount of possibilities for what I can do with my talents, interests and hobbies.
This narrative, rather than the idea of having to choose what I’m most passionate about, is what I will be taking with me throughout the rest of my semesters as a university student. As a recovering perfectionist, I am hopeful to view graduation not as a constraint of my freedom, but as a brand new beginning where I can make anything of myself.
The possibilities are endless, and I have finally realized that this is something to be excited about. Whether teaching English abroad in Thailand or being a bridal stylist in New York, it’s okay to want as much as you can get out of this life. It’s okay to not want to give everything of yourself to one pursuit. To find something that affords you the freedom to continue exploring and learning more about yourself is great in itself and just as worthy of celebration.