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How to Survive the St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Get ready to bring out your shamrock necklaces and sparkly green top hats, everyone, because St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner! In my humble opinion, however, the only thing better than St. Patrick’s day itself is the St. Patty’s Day parade in Chicago. Thousands of people decked in green mill around Chicago to see the parade and simply to have a good time: think gameday, but with a big green river.

As much fun as this day is, it doesn’t take much for things a to get a little out of hand. A parade goer myself, here’s my four pieces of advice, or “clover of wisdom” (witty, I know), for how to survive this year’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade

1. Two is Better Than One

Two, Four, Seventeen….really any number is better than one at the St. Patty’s Day parade. The point is at no point should you find yourself alone, and I strongly recommend the buddy system. Chicago’s a big city, and you’re a small person: the odds are definitely not in your favor.

2. Green ‘N Grunge

Aside from the kelly green scarf that you bring out once a year (because let’s be honest, kelly green just seems out of place when it’s not in shamrock form), don’t wear anything that’s valuable to you. Chicago in March translates to a lot of mud and slush, so the parade is not the best time to bringing out those suede booties you love. 

3. Shake Sleep It Off.

Much like game day here at Madison, the St. Patty’s Day parade operates in a similar manner. There’s the pre-game, then the parade, then the ever important post-parade nap. The post-parade nap is critical element because without it, you won’t be able to accomplish the final step: rally and go out again.

***Disclaimer: Do not initiate the post-parade nap step to early, lest you find yourself asleep on the L-train with strangers poking you to make sure you’re alive.

4. Hydration Station

The words “light and fit” are not exactly in the Irish’s vocabulary when it comes to food and drink, and most cuisine falls under the category of “dark and heavy.” While it’s great to hang out with your friends Jameson, Bailey’s, and Guinness throughout the day, make sure you invite H2O to the party as well.

Whether you’re going to tomorrow’s parade or attending any St. Patrick’s Day celebration this weekend, keeping these tips in mind so you have fun and still stay in one piece! Best of luck to you all! 

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