Having a hangover is miserable enough—the pounding headache and constant wave of nausea is painful even when the only item on your agenda for the day is to plant yourself in from of the television and binge watch SVU. But sometimes you don’t have that luxury. Sometimes you wake up with an all-consuming hangover and a to-do list demanding your productivity.When you have a hangover and really need to be productive—whether it’s going to work, studying for an exam, or simply attending an event—that is a special kind of hell. As the semester begins, I think we can all relate to what a truly horrific experience this can be.
Every movement you make is at a glacial pace.
This is partly deliberate and partly unavoidable. Every move you make is slow and steady, like you’re trying to trick your body into thinking it’s not crumbling from within. Any quick, rash movements and that bowling ball in your head will start banging around again. While I chose to move slowly, I couldn’t speed things up even if I wanted to. You just pray no one asks why you’re completely winded from walking longer than 30 steps.
You give yourself constant motivation speeches.
“All you have to do is find your power within, and you can do anything you put your mind to. You’re a warrior, Livi, and you will not just survive—you will thrive.” If that doesn’t work, just call your mom and sob.
The weather is always annoyingly bright and sunny.
Regardless of the season, the sun is always shining fiercely when you step outside, like God is shining a spotlight on how shitty you look and feel. Why can’t it be dark and stormy outside to match what’s going on in your insides? Better yet, let the weather be so bad that life in general is just cancelled for the day
You sacrifice your liver and go for the Extra-Strength Tylenol.
I try to avoid taking extra strength Tylenol whenever possible. For those who don’t know, acetaminophen is especially harsh on your liver. So after putting it through the ringer the night before, I typically like to give to give my liver a break. But when I’ve got the hangover from hell and things to get done, sacrifices must be made for the good of the cause.
Having the bathroom to yourself is a miracle from above.
Let’s face it: you will have to visit a public restroom during the day, and it will not be pretty. The after effects of drinking wait for no one, so all you can do is hope and pray that you will not see another pair of feet sticking out underneath a stall as you enter. Now you can take care of business in peace.It’s never easy, but it has to be done. Whether you’re headed to work or class and that hangover is ready to crush you, stand strong and know you’re probably not alone in your pain.