What I have learned since my dog died
As the one year anniversary of my childhood dog passing away approaches, I can’t help but reflect on what this past year has been like without him.
We got Buckley when he was just a puppy and I was five years old. He has been a presence in my life and home this entire time. Since he passed, going home hasn’t felt the same. I think this is one of the hardest struggles for me. I don’t know if anyone who has had a pet pass away relates to this, but I think a house isn’t a home without a pet. To me, they are one in the same. My house was my house because I knew he would always be there. That is one of the hardest aspects to grieve in my opinion. Grieving the way your home and family will never feel the same without them.
It feels hard to mourn a pet because it feels like there is supposed to be a shorter mourning period than when mourning a relative or friend. Societal expectations are that you feel sad about it, but you continue on with your life, your job, your education. I understand why this is the way things work, but it doesn’t feel right. To me and to most pet owners I would argue, our pets are like another member of our family.
Dealing with a family pet’s death while at college is very odd. I think it takes longer for all of the emotions and feelings to hit you. When I’m at school, it is easier to pretend that it’s not real and that he is still waiting for me at home.
This whole process of mourning has made me think about owning pets differently. I had always dreaded the day I would not have him anymore and I wasn’t sure I would be able to get another pet after him. This felt especially true in the early days after his death. I couldn’t imagine getting another dog just to go through the pain of losing them again. As time has gone on, I feel this way less and less. As hard as it has been to lose him, I look back at our memories together and know that I would do it all over again just to experience all the good times. I believe that getting a pet is worth the hardships and grieving you will eventually go through because they make every day and every aspect of your life better. That is worth all the pain in the world.
Going from life with pets to life without pets is a very weird transition. I feel as if I am going through animal withdrawals. There aren’t many opportunities at animal interactions while at school which is why I made the decision to sign up to volunteer at an animal shelter.
I have yet to have my first volunteer shift, but I think having some interaction with animals will be good for me. It may not be the same as having my own or the one I lost, but it fills part of the empty hole in my life where my dog used to fill.
I know I will never love another dog the way I loved my first dog, but I hope one day when the time feels right I can share my life with another dog.