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Going Out: A Guy’s Timeline

Ever wonder what it’s like for a guy when it comes to going out? Well here’s your chance to find out. Check out a standard timeline for guys going out.

9:00

Spend hours deliberating on what I’m going to wear. And by hours I mean stay in what I wore all day. I’m going to have to check the mirror to make sure I didn’t spill too much on my shirt though.

9:01

Time to do my hair. Should I wear it up or down?

9:02

Pregame like a rockstar

Then proceed to take shots and pretend like they’re nothing.

9:05

If anyone asks, no matter how drunk you are, proceed to say “I’m not even drunk”. Make sure to tell everyone who hasn’t drank as much as you to “Get on your level”.

9:45

Feel bad for those girls in high heels

9:46

Stop feeling bad because my crocs are probably just as comfortable.

10:01

Show up fashionably late looking fashionable. I’m pretty sure that stain on my shirt looks like a fancy label.

10:45

Hit on every girl at the party. Twice.

11:30

Pee in that one alley for the 5th time

12:00

Dance on the bar, like no one’s watching.

12:30

When you realize it’s only you and some real weird dudes, it’s time to roll out

12:31

Make sure to yell at everyone on your way home. It makes you look cooler.

Pat yourself on the back because you’ve killed it tonight.

Evan is a junior at the University of Wisconsin - Madison pursuing a degree in Economics and Sociology. Although he is serious about getting that job on Wall Street, you can find him having a great time along the way.
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