As a college student, we have all had times where our drunken alter egos decide it will be a great time to make an appearance. While we try not to let them out on the reg, they do have a tendency to introduce themselves on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. There are five normal types that can be seen at any given party or bar (although many more do exist) and I encourage you to scout them out.
1. Bow Down I’m Beyonce Drunk
This is the girl who will not evacuate the dance floor. Her song is “always” playing and while she thinks she is breaking it down like no ones business (and sometimes the home girl successfully is) other times she looks like a total spazz.
2. The Flirty One
Get a few drinks into this girl’s system and she has all the confidence in the world. Hair twirling, giggling, dancing, and the “come hither” eyes are only some of the signs to identify the flirty drunk. This alter ego will flirt with literally anything, even inanimate objects.
3. The Overly Emotional One
Beware of this girl; she is acting as if she just saw the Notebook, Titanic, and a Fault in our Stars all in one sitting. If she makes this face, run!
4. Must get food now drunk
Drunchies are what is on this girls mind. Pizza, tacos, French fries— everything sounds amazing. This girl’s sole mission of the evening is to get as much food in her system as possible, bonus points if she gets someone to buy it for her or one of the employees to give her a discount. Screw going home with someone, she would rather go home with an extra large basket of cheese curds.
5. Where did my life go drunk
Along with losing her keys, wallet, phone, credit card, and ID this girl has most likely lost her memory and if it is a really wild night, her dignity too. She usually wakes up the following morning messaging people on Facebook to ask where her lost stuff may be and if they can give her the Spark Note’s version of last night’s events because she doesn’t remember. Don’t judge her too much, we’ve all been there.
While these are all entertaining alter egos to meet, remember that you, yourself, will reach one of these levels of drunk (that is if you haven’t already) so just live. Enjoy those Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays and if you are an overachiever…any other weekday.