In high school, mostly everyone could join any club they chose, JV was always an option when it came to sports, and even grades could be adjusted with a little extra credit or schmoozing of the English teacher. Yet, in college, I have found that rejection is a rather repetitive motif.
In the beginning of the school year, everyone has the option to pledge sororities or frats. Young adults put on bright smiles and try to act likeable with hopes of joining that particular section of Greek life. So, when a girl doesn’t get her first choice, she is sometimes given the option to spend the rest of her life in a sisterhood that may have actually been second on the list…or third.
And there are those girls who don’t get accepted at all; just pure rejection, generally with no explanation, to a genuinely good person.
I myself attempted to pledge a business fraternity (sororities aren’t my scene) and spend several weeks of my life attempting to show my charismatic side, my business-professionalism, and my interests in the organization’s on-goings. I made it through the first round and assumed that I had even made a couple of could-be friends. The second round was just as time consuming and I became particularly invested in the group of people I had come to know over the couple weeks. I was incredibly excited about joining, to say the least.
The announcements of who were selected to join the pledge class were posted through e-mail extremely late at the end of the week. I was, in fact, utterly rejected. Obviously, I was upset, but I quickly exited out of the e-mail and moved on with my night.
There’s also that stomach-wrenching feeling when the teacher is about to pass back an exam that I’m absolutely positive I got an A on. I mean, countless hours were spent going over material and practice problems. Sure, the test seemed a little tricky, but it was assumed that my best guesses were also the answers.
Well, I get a BC. It’s so absolutely frustrating to know that I sincerely believed I tried my best, and with no avail, just got above average.
There are also a wide variety of club sports to join, most of which are competitive to be accepted in to. With the huge amount of students here, its fairly likely that the athletic ability is a lot higher than my high school varsity tennis team ever was.
Rejection seems to come in all shapes and sizes here at the UW, whether it is through organizations, classes, athletics, and, especially, love lives. I’ve quickly learned that a large majority of the population here is looking for the “I’ll leave before your roommate gets back” deal, rather than dinner and a movie.
As I said before, rejection is incredibly common in a school that is supposed to be so prestigious, and might I say, it is one cold, heartless bitch.
Come on, no one likes being told “no”. However, I think that there is an upside to such a harsh experience. As disgustingly cliché as it is, being turned down is absolutely a learning experience and tends to put perspective on a lot of situations. For me, its not always easy to see the upside of refutation, but I have been trying to find the silver lining.
I may never exactly know why I was not accepted into the pledge class of that particular organization, but I do know that there was a reason. Whether the recruiting committee truly believed I was not a good fit or there were people that needed and deserved the experience better, its fairly likely that its probably for the best that I’m not a part of the fraternity. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I had a lot of fun in the process anyway. I truly did meet interesting and friendly people and had practice with formal interviews. Not to mention, I had the opportunity to put on my suit, which is always a plus.
So, I suppose rejection isn’t a total negative. Getting a bad grade pushes me to ask for more help, find better resources, and presents to me a goal for the next speech, test, homework, or whatever I aim to excel at. The same can be said about sports. There’s always room for improvement in that aspect, and practice does make perfect. As for relationships, of course it sucks, but it’s pretty likely that if guys are only looking for one thing, or nothing at all, it’s probably best not to date them anyway. And besides, if they are looking for strictly physical interactions, I could at least say they “want me for my bod”, which is pretty awesome in itself.
I mean, rejection sucks. It stings and is not always easy to bounce back immediately. Yet, I believe that there generally is reason in rejection and a lesson to be learned. Being shut down in any area of life is going to be tough, but finding that silver lining is my key to moving forward and becoming a better, faster, smarter, more compelling, or any kind of improved person that I would hope to be.