Dear Polar Vortex,
Congratulations, you have been one upped by the “Bomb Cyclone” so you can’t sit with us anymore. For those of you who do not know what the “Bomb Cyclone” is, it’s what they are calling the really cold weather coming this year. “Bomb-dot-com” am I right?
Temperatures are supposedly going to be way colder than last year, which seems impossible, but apparently we are all about defying the odds in winter 2014-2015—thanks global warming.
I know I for one am totally pumped about breaking out my long underwear, gator, and maybe my ski mask (I know, a little aggressive) to wear on my walk to class. Let’s face it, at this point everyone should be investing in some hand and feet warmers. You can’t see them, so there really is no shame in taking extra precautions. After all, All I want for Christmas is frostbite…said no one ever.
If you know what’s good for you, these are the months that you’ll learn how to socially hibernate (a.k.a. order in food w/ friends and drink in the warmth of apartments), take advantage of the 80, and rock all of your oversized sweaters, scarves, hats, snow boots, and uggs—if you’re basic.
While people may not appreciate you for all that you’re worth, I definitely notice your redeeming qualities. First off, I love stocking up on more moisturizer and Chapstick. Your strong winds give me reason to excessively buy in bulk all of my favorite cosmetics. They also give me the excuse binge drink hot chocolate, coffee, and tea like nobody’s business. Other than that, I really would be okay with out receiving any more visits from you.
It’s been a fun run, but I feel as if we are evolving at a different pace. I will always fondly remember those days when temperatures dropped below zero, but if we are being honest with each other, I know that I’m over it.
So Polar Vortex, Bomb Cyclone—whatever you are, I think its time that we let it go, let it go, because I cannot handle you anymore. The cold always bothered me anyway!