Confrontation Do’s and Don’ts as told by Friends

There are many misconceptions when it comes to confrontation. Often, people believe confronting someone will put massive amounts of strain on a relationship, if not just end it all together. They think that it takes too much work, it is very uncomfortable, it is really my fault not theirs, and the list goes on. In reality, confrontational situations are only as terrible as you make them. If approached properly, addressing an issue can actually be very simple and painless, leading to stronger and healthier relationships!When it comes to a situation that has made you uncomfortable, try to assess the problem privately without overthinking it. Consider the perspective of whomever has upset/annoyed/hurt you and evaluate the intentions behind their actions. Unfortunately, we all screw up and say or do things that can upset others. This should not dismiss the need to speak up, but instead alter the way you handle the problem. Hopefully, when it comes to friends and family the intentions weren’t to cause you pain, and often they might not even know exactly what they did. So a simple, “Hey, that’s not cool please stop,” gets the message across quickly and accurately.

When it comes to more serious conflicts, it’s important to consider the setting you tackle the issue in. Be sure to keep it as intimate as possible. The more people that get wrapped up in the situation that are not directly involved, the messier it gets and the shadier you look. It’s one thing to vent to a single confidant, but discussing the issue with everyone as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting the actual problem isn’t a good solution.Additionally, don’t wait days or weeks after the incident before saying something The faster the person is addressed, the sooner you can move on from it and eliminate any awkwardness. Putting off confrontation can lead to unnecessary tension that the other person probably will not understand. This can cause a random outburst of unexplained, pent-up emotions leaving you with the consequences of embarrassing apologies.Lastly, don’t psych yourself out. It is okay to not be okay. You are your only advocate; stand up for yourself. The person you’re confronting is only another person, and you’re both worthy of respect. If you want someone to listen to you, approach them gently and simply be honest. It’s okay to be emotional, if you aren’t being hurtful yourself. Sometimes, making a list of points you want to make before confronting someone can help pull your focus in, rather than simply crying and yelling or struggling for words.

When approached properly, confrontation can bring people closer together and create stronger bonds.Cover Photo Source