As I’ve reiterated over and over again, I am a strong believer that the freshman year of college is meant to be full of adjustment, new lifestyles, and learning experiences. I personally am also a huge lover of change, which I know is a pretty rare trait, because I love finding the adventure in it.
But, when it comes to boyfriends, I wondered whether I was supposed to change my relationship status coming into the UW this year.
At the beginning of the fall semester, I couldn’t turn a corner without hearing about a relationship falling apart. There were always ridiculous fights, usually involving trust. And then there were those conversations revealing that trust had, indeed, been broken. I saw relationships crumble that should’ve never started in the first place. People who had happily and passionately dated for years looked at each other and questioned their entire relationship.
Where is this going?
That was often the big question.
People began to look at their futures and realized that they were better off without each other. However, there are those who, through all the drama and confusion that is freshman year, found they still wanted to be together.
There is so much change that when something that used to be so easy becomes difficult, it becomes terrifying to have to deal with. I think that is something that a lot of people struggle with. Adding one more difficulty to life during such an extreme adjustment can be too much for a lot of people, and, honestly, I think that is okay.
I mean, we are all very young people. Being in a relationship is about putting your time and energy into another person. When I got to college, I quickly realized that I didn’t have much time or energy to spare and it was a scary thought to realize that maybe, just maybe I should save those precious resources for myself.
Long distance relationships work for some people. There are those couples that communicate well enough to get by without having to see each other’s faces. I think for a long-distance relationship to work, communication is key. I don’t mean that each and every event in one another’s lives needs to be shared (i.e. “Hey baby, I just got done checking Facebook, now I’m going to take an eight minute walk to the library and study Philosophy for 30 minutes, proceeded by drinking a Snapple, etcetera…).
But what really makes a long-distance relationship work, at least in my humble opinion, is mindset. When a couple truly believes that they are going to make it work, then they are going to make it work.
My relationship has, indeed, stayed in tact. It hasn’t been the smoothest ride, but we’ve managed to work through it. Sure, we fight sometimes, we have some issues with trust, and I miss him everyday, but knowing that he is still in my life makes me happy that we are working through everything to stay together.
So, its hard to say whether bringing a relationship to college is or isn’t a good idea. I strongly believe it depends on the individual. There are people that prefer the single life and experiencing different kinds of people through dating and flirting. There are also those girls that realize being with their significant other helps them become a better person, and therefore choose to stick through all the nonsense that can be a relationship, because they believe it to be worth the trouble.
Sometimes, it doesn’t work. Sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. By leaving a boyfriend (or girlfriend) behind, a newfound collegiate can possibly learn about her self and have a little fun while she’s doing it.
However, the same goes for the girl that sticks through the relationship. Long-distance is, indeed a learning process.
Both situations can be hard and suck at times. Both situations can be rewarding and worthwhile. It’s just a matter of who you are, and, in the end, what’s best for you in the long run.