Girlfriend is a bit cray cray.
We all have those friends: they’re fun and outgoing and make great best friends, but once they step into the “girlfriend” role…well, things get questionable. As an outsider to your friend’s relationship, you can say that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, girlfriend has a tendency to whip out the “I’m a crazy mofo” attitude in multiple, unnecessary scenarios. In many cases, it’s mortifying to witness – said friend takes on a new, rage-filled persona as she violently digs through her boyfriend’s email and Facebook messages, trying desperately to prove her boyfriend has been engaging in some shady activity. Startled upon seeing this shocking display of behavior from your friend, you back away slowly rather than even attempting to talk some sense into her. Before reaching that dangerous stage, though, here are some signs girlfriend may be going off the deep end:
1. Your friend’s boyfriend is hanging out at your house and gets up to go to the bathroom. As he does so, your friend reaches for her boyfriend’s phone and starts “innocently” looking through it. When you calmly ask her what she’s doing she responds with a passive-aggressive, “What, I’m just looking through his photos, it’s no big deal.” Here’s the thing: she is also probably “stumbling across” his texts, too. This, my friends, is what we call Red Flag #1.
2. Your friend is doing her daily perusal of Facebook, and clicks onto her boyfriend’s page. She notices his recent activity says he is now friends with…a girl. The horror!!!! Your friend’s face reddens – with anger? Jealousy? Outrage? – as she frantically clicks onto this new girl’s Facebook. She makes some snotty comments about how this girl is like, sooo ugly, wtf. She then pulls out her phone and you know instantly she is texting her boyfriend. Again, Red Flag #2.
3. All is well in the Land of Love for your friend and her boyfriend, and the two make plans to go out to some bars that night. The pregame rolls around, and the two are so lovey-dovey you want to puke. Then everyone moves on to the first destination of the night, a bar you all like to frequent. Some drunken chick runs up to your boyfriend and hugs him, all the while squealing, “OOOOMG I haven’t seen you in forever!!! Remember when we took Lit 101 together?!!!” Granted, it is annoying to see your boyfriend be fawned over by some stranger. However, any sane person would know this girl is probably heavily intoxicated and hasn’t had any contact with your boyfriend since that lit class freshman year. So, nothing to worry about. Your friend, though, takes this as a clear indication of his infidelity and decides to make a scene in the bar, yelling, kicking and screaming included. As if you had any doubts, this is clearly Red Flag #3.
Beware of these Red Flags, ladies, and know that after seeing these signs, it’s definitely time to stage an ‘inter-friendtion.’ And thank you, wonderful writers of Sex and the City 2, for supplying me with that horribly kitschy term.