Especially when you are a girl in your 20’s.
As an out of state college student, missing home is inevitable. Even with the best friends, an amazing college house and a soft spot for the midwest it can still be difficult to be away from friends and family for so long. I personally have not been back to my hometown in almost 5 months—which is shocking to most people I tell. I am someone who has always been independent, and from a young age would go to sleepaway camp for weeks at a time. Nevertheless, independent strong people still can miss their parents, dogs and late night drives on familiar streets. It may not manifest in the same way it did when I was 12, or even 4 years ago as a freshman, but there are still small moments where I wish I was back in California. Like on rainy days, I always wish I could be sitting on the couch with my dogs, watching a rom-com with my mom while my dad cooks enough food to feed a small village. Those little memories are so important to me. Even though I cannot live them out every day anymore, they are something that makes me look forward to being home again.
For a long time I struggled with feeling guilty for missing the familiarity of home. I love my life in college and how I have created a support system and routine in a new place. However, the more I have matured and grown the more I have learned the importance of being vulnerable when homesick. It is okay to want your mom. It is okay to want a home cooked meal. It is normal to want to go get ice cream with your siblings, even if you are more than content with getting ice cream with your roommates. All of these thoughts and feelings are normal and more college students feel like it than you know. By learning to be okay with the discomfort and that two things can be true at the same time, it becomes easier to grapple with homesickness.
I try to give myself grace when I wish I was home. I like to do small acts of self care like lighting a candle or making myself a nice meal. Another way I like to take care of myself is by journaling. Though I am new to it, I feel like writing down how I feel and the good and bad parts of my day which helps me process things better. It is so easy to keep emotions in and let them build off each other, but journaling allows me to move past hard moments in a healthier way. If you are looking to start journaling and do not know where to start, I used prompts from influencer and author Eli Rallo, who makes the process feel less daunting.
If you take anything away from this article, I would hope it is that homesickness is both normal and okay. You do not have to feel bad, and it is okay to feel that way and still love the place you are at in life. Always take care of yourself, call a friend and send your mom a millennial GIF you know she will laugh at.