Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

Battle of the Sexes: Double Standards & Texting

“When men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.”

Let’s face it ladies, Carrie said it best; we’ve all heard about or even been that girl: the one who calls their crush one (or seven) too many times on a Friday night, sends the “obviously I’ve had too many shots” late night text(s), and wakes up the next morning absolutely mortified. Believe us, we’ve been there…and on some weekends, we still are. There is arguably nothing worse than reading through your vodka infused feelings in the sober daylight; each jumbled text more embarrassing than the last.

“Oh, I double-texted him last night? What a ballsy move! I left him a three-minute message? How nice of me!”

As much as we’d like to congratulate ourselves on our bold efforts from the night before, in reality, we know we looked anything but that. Desperate and needy are the dreaded words that every girl fears of being labeled; but after one drink too many, even the most unlikely of the group is subject to that bad rep. After a few of these incidents, or even just one, it’s likely the boy will misinterpret your drunken mistake as the universal ‘clingy gene’ all of us women have and he will probably get out before it gets any worse.
But what happens when boys do it to us, when we’re the ones on the receiving end?

Through friends’ accounts and personal experiences, we’ve come to the conclusion that girls just are not as harsh. Instead, it seems to almost be the opposite. After a weekends worth of drunk-texts from a boy, girls tend to not only expect the attention, but also secretly want it to continue. So why don’t we find them desperate?

Personal example: I woke up on Saturday, nervous to see what damage I had done the night before, when to my surprise it wasn’t me who had been the embarrassment! I was shocked to see a screen full of missed messages and lets just say, fifteen plus missed calls from a guy I’d hooked up with in the past. Not only that, but he triple texted me saying things not even a blacked-out me would ever get caught saying. Literally, I was horrified for him. However, unlike how a typical guy would act the morning after (unresponsive), I proceeded to text him in hopes of diffusing the inevitable awkwardness.

Why in this situation, as a victim of drunk texting, did I feel the need to make the situation better for him? He showed the same behavior, to an even greater extreme, and some how I felt the responsibility of making him feel less uncomfortable.

This seems to be the universal girl issue: boys may act the same as we do, to which they find us obsessive and desperate. But, when the roles have reversed, we excuse their behavior and allow it to happen repeatedly. So, are we as girls, unknowingly enforcing the double standard of drunken behavior?

Similar Reads👯‍♀️