The importance of recognizing the different forms love takes and appreciating each one
Comparison is everywhere, and it consumes almost every part of our lives—the clothes that we wear, the careers we choose and even the types of love that we each receive. It’s easy to be caught up in this comparison—when you’re single and notice all the couples around you, when you haven’t seen your parents in a long time and see everyone with their own on parents’ weekend or you’re home alone in your apartment for the weekend while your roommates are out of town. Despite this, it is important to take time to ground yourself and remind yourself of all the love that is still around you, even if it may not be location–wise or if it takes a different form.
I see myself getting swept away by this type of comparison a lot. It’s easy to notice, and I can’t help myself from letting it happen. It is especially hard for me to recognize that the love surrounding me may take different forms. This has been especially true as my family was not able to make it to this year’s parents’ weekend. I was upset and sad and I started to be jealous of all of the families that I saw together.
In reflecting on this, I realized that my anger towards others was not justified. Just because my family was not able to make it to this year’s parents’ weekend does not mean that they don’t love and appreciate me in other ways. I reminded myself that I still have weekly FaceTime calls with my family, where I tell them everything I have been up to, and they tell me what has been happening for them. I remind myself that this is a way that the love between my parents and I is expressed, which may be different than spending the weekend together, but just as important.
Similarly, when my roommates are out of town, it’s easy to get sucked into this mentality that I’m actually a lonely person or that they dislike me, but reminding myself that this isn’t true still stands as important. The pure fact that I miss these people in my life signals a form of love towards them. Instead of ruminating on the fact that I’m home alone for the weekend, appreciating the fact that I have such amazing people in my life that I miss their presence—even for a couple of days—is so precious in itself.
This shift in mentality that I have forced myself to adopt has not been easy. Even now, I find myself comparing my relationships to others, even though I know I shouldn’t. This kind of shift in thinking is definitely an upward battle, but even as I try my best, I can see the way that my overall outlook on life has changed and improved. I’m excited to see where this kind of mentality can improve the quality of my life, especially as I navigate such a tremendously stressful and formative period in my life, A.K.A. college.