Dear Ghosted,
I sincerely regret what I did to you. Ghosting someone isn’t just ignoring a guy’s creepy snapchats, or denying a first date dinner offer. You invested time, money and emotion into me, and in response? I vanished. I was too immature to account for other people’s feelings, and certainly didn’t think abruptly being MIA was any big deal at all. I was taught that being reckless with other hearts was okay because the culture I lived within blurs the lines between what is a boyfriend or a hookup friend.
Having been used to relationships that never progress beyond mind games and drunk hookups, I thought that I could dodge your serious emotions the same way I’d dodge a one night stand. But you weren’t a one night stand, and I lead you on without even caring to realize it. Maybe it took being ghosted myself to understand the real pain I must have caused you.
When we start to fall in love, it’s like the entire Earth is on our side. We listen to happy music and smile on our way to class. We excitedly send our friends pictures and talk about them at any chance we get. We anticipate seeing them, and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Therefore, when rejection catches us completely off guard, the butterflies immediately die and the sadness consumes us for a little while. But what I did to you was much worse, because I never directly rejected you.
I left you hanging: hungry, confused and left thinking there still might be a chance. You probably stared at your phone for weeks, hoping to see my name light up. You probably made up excuses to your friends for why they haven’t seen me around. You probably stayed up a little bit longer at night wondering what you did wrong. But you did nothing wrong, I was the one who did.
The world needs more men like you. You were brave enough to ask a girl out on a first date, to not take advantage of me, and to treat me like the princess you did during the times we had together. The culture of hooking up and never talking again just wasn’t your style, and only now do I realize how rare a guy like you is.
Once I started to realize I wasn’t as into you as I initially thought, I should have told you so. You deserved to at least know what was going on in my mind, and to know that me vanishing had nothing to do with you personally. I hope you don’t learn to do what I did to you.
I take full responsibility for ghosting you. It was selfish of me, and I accept the dirty glares I get when passing you on the street. It wasn’t necessarily my rejection that hurt you, but more so my pride that left you hanging. You have taught me that I cannot be reckless with love, despite its growing trend within our culture. In the end, all I can offer is this apology.
I appreciate all the effort you put into me, and I am sorry that I didn’t return the favor with a simple explanation for why it wouldn’t work out. I hope you find someone just as sweet as you were to me. I hope you don’t change, and I am sorry for ghosting the person who truly did not deserve it.
Sincerely,
Me