Everyone experiences self-doubt at some time or another, and that’s perfectly okay. However, what’s not okay is living your life in fear of failure or limiting yourself due to a lack of self-confidence. Having confidence in yourself allows you to achieve your goals and be the queen you are meant to be.
1. Check yourself before you wreck yourself
The first step in boosting self-confidence and minimizing doubt is recognizing destructive attitudes. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your abilities, immediately call yourself out. Every time you hear that voice in your head saying, “I can’t do this? OMG I can’t do this…” stop yourself right there. Argue with that voice. List every reason you can think of why the voice is wrong, and then go tell that voice exactly where to shove its negativity.
2. Remind yourself who you are
Building off of the previous point, be your own cheerleader. No one knows you better than you. You know exactly how hard you work and all you can achieve when you put your mind to it. Every once in a while, you may need a little reminder of all that you’ve accomplished. Look where you are now. You got into a great university. You have survived every college course you’ve faced up to this point. You have overcome every battle thrown your way and much more. You wouldn’t be facing the challenges you are today if you didn’t have the skills to get here and beyond.
3. Surround yourself with positive messages
Post sticky notes on your mirror. Write a note to yourself on your whiteboard. Create positive messages and place them wherever you want. Read them when you wake up. Read them when you’re feelin’ yourself. Read them even when you don’t believe them at the moment. Just read them. When I was applying to my specialty program, I would sometimes doubt if I was smart enough. One day I wrote a message to myself on Snapchat, saved my snapsterpiece, and put it as my lock screen. Every time I looked at my phone, it gave me a little confidence boost. It let me know that I believed in myself, and that’s the most important person.
4. Visualize
Visualize the best and worst case scenarios of your obstacle, and how you would react to them. Let’s say you kill it at the job interview, and they hire you with full benefits and a great salary. Yay! Let’s also imagine, it goes horribly. You fall on your face, spill your coffee on the boss and completely blank on things to say in the interview. Yes, that’s a cringe-worthy day, but at the end, you still lived! Sure, you’ll go home and cry about it to your roomie, but the world didn’t end. You’ll sulk for maybe the rest of the night. Then, the next day, you’ll be back at it. You’ll apply for the next job and be even more motivated to make sure it goes well. It’s kind of a fun game to think of the wildest worst-case scenarios. Give yourself a good laugh and know that even if your fears come true, things will still be okay.
5. Give yourself a chance
Practice asserting yourself. Don’t trail off in your sentence. Don’t let others interrupt you. Finish your thought even if you’re not 100 percent sure it’s correct. Know the respect you deserve and establish your presence to others. Your ideas are just as valuable as the person’s next to you. Maybe the idea you weren’t sure about turns out to be the right answer. Give yourself a chance to be right or wrong, to succeed or fail. Little habits like this build your overall self-confidence.
6. Fake it ‘til you make it
If you’re still working on the other tips above, just fake it in the meantime. You’d be surprised by the number of people that act like they know what they’re doing, but in reality are just as unsure as you are. Repeatedly thinking or talking about how nervous you are or how unprepared you feel will only make you feel worse. Instead, even if you don’t mean it, just act like you’ve got everything under control. Act like you make class presentations all the time, even if you’re terrified on the inside. If it helps, try taking on the confidence of your fave celeb or role model and emulate them. Sometimes pretending to be someone else is easier than being in your own head for a minute. With time, the pretending will turn into practicing, and the practicing will turn into second-nature. The more you practice a confident demeanor, the more natural it will feel to be confident in yourself.
No one is great at everything. No one feels like they’ve got everything going for them 100 percent of the time. What matters most is recognizing your strengths and reminding yourself of all that you can do, instead of focusing on what you may not be able to do. Love yourself with everything that you’ve got. Silence the doubt in your mind. Plant your feet firmly on the ground, give the world your best smile and say, “This is who I am. This is what I’ve done. Let’s see what else I can do.”