Ah, Winter. Sweaters, Christmas, a wonderland of snow, daylight savings, bitter cold winds, slippery ice and the desire to stay inside, lock the doors and never come out of hibernation. Whether you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or feel as though pre-existing mental health issues worsen when the temperature drops below freezing, supporting your loved ones’ and your own mental health during winter is a daunting task. It takes a lot of hard work and courage, but there are ways to reduce the burden of winter. Here are some tips for supporting a friend through winter. (Keep in mind, your friend may be yourself!)
- Adjustment
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The transition from Autumn to Winter, at least in the Midwest, often comes quickly and without notice. The sun sets earlier, leaving most of the evening dark and overwhelming. The cold wind whipping ice particles into your face makes leaving the comfort of your bed seem unappealing, especially for those who already dread leaving the house. Support your friend by helping them adjust to these changes. Give them some control, responsibility, beauty and life by buying them a small houseplant to care for. Encourage them to wake up and go to sleep earlier to maximize the amount of sun they see throughout the day. Open their windows, or at least the curtains, to let the fresh air and natural light consume their apartment or dorm. Bundle up and go on walks with them – whether around the block or to grab a coffee. Being outside in the light, even for a few moments, is both rejuvenating and necessary.
- Patience
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Remind your friend that it is not only okay but necessary to take a break. Of course, one should seek medical or academic assistance if depression prohibits them from functioning. However, a couple of missed classes or staying in to take a bath is highly encouraged. Gently remind your friend that they are allowed to focus on themselves without feeling guilty. Ask your friend if there are some things they love about Winter that can get them through the day: Christmas movies, animal slippers, cinnamon candles. We need to make extra time for ourselves and self-care in the Winter. More face masks, more fuzzy blankets and more time. Give them time.
- Avoid comparison
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It often seems like an easy method of support when you relate to your friend with a “me too” moment or a story about your own emotional experience. Do not compare a bad day, being cold or general stress about a test to your friends constant anxiety and or depression. Mental health management is not a competition, and you are not making your friend feel less alone. You isolate them more when you try to reduce the significance of their emotions. Unless you share a mental health concern and have previously related to your friend by sharing experiences, just listen, validate and support your friend’s state of mind.
- Share
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Mental illnesses are debilitating and terrifying at times because every little thing seems overwhelming. Strengthen your relationship and support your friend by attempting to enter into a healthy lifestyle with them. Whether a romantic partner, roommate, friend or sibling, you can make it easy for your friends to partake in self-care by caring for yourself, and inviting them to join in. Encouraging your loved one to go to the gym with you, inviting your loved one over to eat the healthy meal you’ve prepared or bringing your friend some green tea goes a long way in helping them carry out positive tasks.
- Ask
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The most important thing to remember is that everyone is different. Everybody handles things differently and has different needs and desires. Do not be afraid to approach your friend and ask them what you can specifically do to support them. As long as you approach the conversation with love and genuine concern, your friend will feel grateful to have your support. Maybe they need space to be alone, or maybe they need you to open the curtains for them, make them healthy meals and share in positive habits with them. Everyone’s responses are equally valid!
Opening a line of communication with your friend is the first step to supporting them. Hopefully they will fill you in on their specific needs, and, if not, you can offer up these tips as suggestions. Receive your friend’s consent before you jump into forcing them into uncomfortable or threatening situations. The fact that you are reading this means that you have care and concern in your heart, and that positive intention will support your friend more than you even know!