At the NBA All-Star game on Feb. 18, Fergie gave the world a rendition of the national anthem it wasn’t prepared for. Fergs…what happened? Every note was just cringe after cringe.
However, say what you will, but she did try, folks. Yes, perhaps she tried too hard… but there was maximum effort there. Besides, I’d take Fergie’s national anthem over some of the things we hear on campus. Here are ten sounds heard at UW-Madison that are far worse than Fergie’s National Anthem:
1. “There aren’t any tables open at College right now”
The unending struggle to find open space in College Library persists until after exam season (a.k.a. all semester). Securing a table at College Library for your friend group is a commitment bigger than those some people will make their entire college career.
2. Your roommate’s alarm clock
Lucky for you, it’s loud enough that you’ll both be wide awake at 8 a.m. So much for sleeping in ‘til your 1 p.m. discussion.
3. “The 80 is late” or “the 80 is full.”
Nooooooo. Now I have to walk up Bascom?? UGH. It’s really a daily problem.
4. The ding of the elevator as you stop on every. single. floor.
Oh, come on! Also, why does it always happen when you’re running late? It’s the subtlest form of torture.
5. “Wait, you haven’t started it yet??”
It’s the exact opposite of the beloved expression ‘I haven’t started it either” — nothing induces panic faster. Why? Is that bad? There’s still time, right? Right?!
6. “Who do you know here?”
What is this, the White House? Dial it down a notch, bud.
7. “The line hasn’t moved in (blank amount of time).”
Whether you’re at Gordon’s or at a State Street bar for a night out, nobody likes lines. Show me someone who “doesn’t mind” waiting out in the freezing cold for hours — I’ll show you a liar.
8. “Sorry, I can’t take this” or “Sorry, not tonight.”
If you know, you know. Can’t blame a girl for trying, right?
9. “No, we don’t have to Uber. Let’s just walk.”
NO, no no no no no. Listen, I’m a team player; but if it’s over 20 minutes away on foot, I’m calling an Uber. Shame me all you want.
10. “This exam will not be curved.”
Have you ever heard the sound of 500 college students being disappointed at the exact same time? I have. Super depressing.
So yes, I would listen to Fergie screech the national anthem ‘til my ears bleed if it means I’ll have a chance at passing my accounting final. There are definitely worse sounds on campus than an off-pitch Fergie.