This generation has become the one known as the ones who are “obsessed with our phones.” We’re also known as the generation who has killed romance or doesn’t show what real love is in relationships. And as sad as it is, I totally agree. I think social media, and phones have ruined the generation and have made relationships so much harder. But like most, I have been there too, consumed by social media and basically letting it tear apart different parts of my old relationship.
However, what I’ve come to learn is that the key to relationships in my opinion is communication, not caring what others think about you and your S.O. and most importantly, not looking to post everything about you and your S.O.’s relationship on social media.
No, I’m not “Facebook official” nor do I think there’s a point in doing it now.
And no, I’m not an anti-phone person or anti-social media person. Ask anyone in my life. My phone is always in my hand and I’m usually always using it. I just don’t need the validation of likes on a picture to tell me my relationship looks great and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone with a picture to show I’m happy with my boyfriend.
The last time I dated my once high school ex-boyfriend and now current boyfriend, we focused so hard on the label. We focused on what other people said about us and what they said about our relationship, and eventually because of this, it crumbled.
The way I think about it is that if your significant other really loves you, you’ll never have to be scared to keep your relationship to yourself or feel like you have to show the world through social media that they are yours. If they truly respect you and your relationship, they will find ways to show people they are taken or their heart is yours without social media.
I’m not opposed to the occasional Tweet, Snapchat or Instagram with your S.O., but if that’s all you two do to show people you are happy, then I would really call that unhealthy. If you base your happiness off how many likes you get on a photo or who all thinks you look cute together, then you’re in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
Now that I don’t focus on other people via social media about my relationship, we don’t fight. Our communication is so much better, we respect one another enough not to subtweet and bring unneeded drama from those reading those posts; we’re mature enough to approach the other when we have a problem and talk it out. We don’t ignore each other till we blow up and yell. Instead, we sit down, address the issue, hear both sides on how to fix it and come to a mutual conclusion that we love each other too much to let something so silly and small come in between us.
I can count on one hand in the past 8 months the times we’ve had to do this. In the beginning of our first relationship, we used to fight every single day, and now we don’t. Now I get to cherish the little memories we have that I catch on camera with him and myself. They’re not really meant to be shared with on Snapchat or Twitter. They’re for us.
Our relationship seems more intimate without broadcasting it. It’s just between us. No one else is involved. And it’s beautiful.
I don’t ever have to worry anymore about him venting to others or putting a subtweet out about times I do something wrong and he doesn’t have to worry about the same with me because we don’t put our relationship out to everyone minus my closest best friend who knows everything. And he has a best friend like that too, which is normal because we all should have at least one outside opinion or someone to talk things through about stuf. I don’t have to worry anymore about people seeing a certain person commenting on mine or his picture, or an ex liking his or my picture and making a fuss or creating drama that shouldn’t be there in the first place.
I have never felt so much love and respect from another man in my whole life.
People can change and only time will tell you when you’ll find that person you are meant to be with.
Both people have to be mature and not so caught up with social media before you can work towards certain things to have a happy and healthy relationship. But I promise you the time waiting is worth it. All the heartbreak and sadness you might have been put through can seem cruel and you’ll wonder what you did to deserve this. But speaking from experience, it’s all worth it.