What People Don't Tell You About Long Distance Relationships

With every long distance relationship, there are bound to be complications because, let’s face it, being hours away from the person you love isn’t easy.

After graduating from high school, I had to face the harsh reality that I was going to be four hours apart from my boyfriend. My family and friends all warned me that it will take a lot of communication, work and trust. They also made me fear the awful possibilities of jealousy, hatred and eventually breaking up imbedded in my mind. All I heard that summer was, “high school sweethearts never last.”

But what your family and friends don’t tell you is that high school relationships can last and honestly, they can become better than you could have ever imagined.

They don’t tell you what it feels like the first time you see your boyfriend after four weeks apart. The millions of butterflies flipping around your tummy as you wait for his car to pull around the corner outside your residence hall. Or about the huge smile on his face when he steps out the car and approaches you, with arms wide open. Or even that complete and whole feeling you have when you know that nothing, not even 200 miles, can come between your relationship. This is the amazing feeling no one tells you about.

They don't tell you how much closer you two will become. That there is an unexplainable bond that manages to mold and grow in between the thousands of text messages and phone calls that are exchanged.

They don't tell you that when you visit one another, you get to experience new places, go on different adventures and form new amazing memories. Rather than going to the same old restaurants and the movie theater in your hometown, you get to explore your college cities together. You can find a new favorite coffee shop, an authentic pub or a park to stroll through on those special Saturday evenings together.

My favorite spot to go to with my boyfriend at Winthrop is Amelie’s French Bakery. Every time he visits, we are sure to be spotted sitting at a table, eating éclairs and drinking iced coffee. We even “locked our love” on the gate outside the shop, where so many other couples have placed a lock to signify their strong, unbreakable bond. This is the type of memory we wouldn’t have if we weren’t long distance.

So what if you are currently in a long distance relationship and you are having a hard time? Here are some things you should think about before you blame your problems on the distance.

The issues you have before you moved apart won’t magically disappear. If anything, they will be even more evident now. So, if you don’t trust each other, that will become even more of a complication when you are hours away, nearly clueless to what the other person is doing. If you feel yourself becoming jealous of one another, just be honest and talk through your issues. Don’t bottle it up. That is a disaster waiting to happen.

Communication really is key. If you two are having trouble keeping in touch or communicating with one another, try to designate certain times of the day to send him a sweet text or voicemail. Sending a goofy snapchat or a “just thinking about you,” text in between classes can go a long way. If you feel like you are too busy to chit chat through out the day, then make sure that you set aside some time to talk on the phone each day. Because there is nothing better than hearing his voice and laugh after a long day of classes and stress.

And finally, a long distance relationship takes compromises from both sides of the relationship. If he constantly wants you to go visit him or make the initiative to call him, that can get frustrating. So be honest with him and tell him that you need him to give more of an effort.

I would be lying if I said being in a long distance relationship is a piece of cake. But if you have an equal balance of love, trust and communication; it can be a beautiful journey.