Dear Peyton (my niece),
Since before your sweet momma, my big sister, married your dad, I dreamed of the day you would be born. Before I even knew about you, you were everything I would dream of. I always imagined what it would be like for my biggest role model in life to become a mom, but realistically, I had no idea what I was wishing for.
The day your mom told us she was pregnant was a feeling I can’t forget. It was a similar feeling when your mom and dad got married. My heart began beating faster, and my stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies. I couldn’t help but cry. I love your mom more than anything in the world, and the fact that she had just told us she was becoming a mom, meant the world to me. Not because I wanted her to have a baby and not because I was excited to spend money on you, but because I was happy that my sister was finally getting to live out her dream of being a mom.
A few days after Jess told us she was pregnant, I was in the car with my mom and we were just talking about how fast time flies. And then she started talking about when she became an aunt. And those next few words she said to me stuck to my heart and I will never lose them. She said to me, “Becoming an aunt is the best feeling in the world. There’s nothing like it, and you truly don’t think you could love someone so much until that moment.” Now obviously, in my mind this ‘moment’ that my mom referred to had to be the moment I first held you. But it wasn’t until later that I realized that wasn’t the moment. It was another time, and another place, that I felt the best feeling in the world.
It was April 5th, 2019 and I was sitting in my room, working on my APUSH homework like I always do. I had plans to go see the school play with my best friend, Tina. I had just planned everything out with her so that I could go, because my mom was with your mom in the hospital. Then, I got a phone call. My heart started beating out of my chest, as I wondered what it was mom could have to say. Is everything okay? I had just talked to her a few minutes before. I picked up the phone, and very nervously spoke.
“Hello?” I had to swallow a big gulp of air, as I felt my anxiety get worse.
“Hey.” It wasn’t my mom, it was yours.
“Oh, hey.” I could barely spit out the words. I could hear on the other side of the phone both Jess and my mom laughing. Jess began to cry. The next few words flowed out of my mothers mouth as if nothing was happening.
“You can’t make your play tonight, Jessica’s having the baby.” And in that moment, that very brief moment on the phone with my sister, I felt the ‘moment’ my mom had referred to seven months before.
My heart was beating out of my chest. My mouth couldn’t help but smile, and my eyes couldn’t help but cry. At that time, in that place, I finally knew what it felt like to be an Aunt. My heart had grown three times larger, enough to fill so much more love and compassion for this sweet, tiny little baby that I had never actually met before. But I didn’t have to meet her to know what it’s like to be an Aunt.
All I needed was to hear my sisters cry over the phone as she told me our lives were about to change forever. And ever since that very moment, I haven’t been the same person. My smile is just a little bigger, my emotions are just a little stronger, and my bank account is a lot lower… Anyways, knowing that my sister was bringing another life into the world that will one day depend on me for advice, love, and care has imprinted my life forever. I will never be the same, and I would never be the person I am today without you, or your wonderful momma. I love the both of you more than words could ever describe.
Love,
Ti-Ti