My first relationship was when I was 17. He had been my best friend for years, but we had never hung out outside of school until he asked me out on a date. I was so nervous to meet his family.
I constantly worry about how people feel about me, or what they think of me. I stress over people not liking me or not enjoying spending time with me. So internally, I was freaking out before I met his parents.
When I first met his parents, my anxiety went down a lot. His parents were sweet, welcoming, and inviting. It wasn’t until a few months later that the energy kind of changed every time I came in. It didn’t seem as welcoming as it was before. Who knows, maybe I was overthinking things… But the energy was not how it used to be. I became uncomfortable going over to his house. I was unsure if I was wanted or how his family had felt, and it made me nervous every single time I had planned to go over to his house. Part of it could have easily been my fault. I put a ton of pressure on myself, resulting in me getting insanely nervous around his parents. I also had no confidence when I met them. I was sure his parents wouldn’t like me, and I got that in my head. It was in my head so much that it eventually made it true.
That relationship came to an end right before my senior year got cut short (thank you, Covid). I am now almost 20 years old, and I’m in a new relationship.
You can imagine the stress I was feeling before I met his family. I did not want things to go the same way they had gone before. I wanted to be comfortable in his home, around his family and his siblings. Meeting his mom was a breath of relief.
I can comfortably go to my boyfriend’s house without him even being there. We’ve been together for almost a whole year and his family has made me feel nothing but love since the second I met them.
Relationships aren’t easy, and you can’t satisfy everyone, but if you respect and understand your partner’s parents, you can achieve a common understanding and eventually form a link that may not always be nice, but at the end of the day, you both want the best for your partner. I never disrespected my ex’s family, and they never did with me. There was just unwanted tension between us. Now, I know how important it is to get along with your partner’s family. Family means everything to both my boyfriend and I, so we work hard to spend time with each other’s families and become comfortable with them, and we are way past comfortable at this point in time. A relationship with your partner’s family isn’t always a priority for everyone, but it is something very important in my life. Family is everything.