Moving in with your significant other can be so exciting but nerve-wracking all at once. Are they messier than they led on? What if we break up? Does this mean marriage? These are all questions that crossed my mind as my boyfriend and I started entertaining the idea. And eventually, after we felt like all those questions had good answers we did it! And it was the best… though it didn’t come without challenges. But moving in with your boo doesn’t have to be this difficult. Here are some lessons I learned that can make the transition far easier.
- Be realistic about your habits.
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We all naturally present our best selves when we’re dating someone. We just can’t help it. But the thing about moving in together is your partner will see EVERY part of you whether you want them to or not. So be honest with yourself about your habits. I thought I had to be this overly organized girlfriend (thank you patriarchy) and I drove myself crazy trying to keep up this fake image when it came to household duties. Eventually, we both realized that my boyfriend was far more organized and we switched roles with no issue. Don’t be afraid to be honest, it’ll take so much unnecessary stress off your shoulders!
- It’s okay to argue.
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It takes time to get used to living with someone who may have completely different habits and routines from you and sometimes that leads to arguments. That’s okay! Whether it’s siblings, roomates, bestfriends, or significant others there will always be some disagreements because everyone is different. Just remember everything does not have to be your way to be right, and all of these new things won’t always feel so new. And please, don’t let arguments about toilet paper last past 15 minutes.
- Call your friends.
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Making a point of spending time with your own friends helps you not only maintain your friendships, but it gives you comfort in your brand new environment. Being able to see eachother everyday compared to once a month was so exciting for my relationship we just wanted to spend all our time together. But in the end we both still needed valuable time with our friends. On top of that, spending quality time by ourselves gave us much needed space to relax and not feel any pressure to spend time together. Keeping that balance will be exactly what you need to get through these early stages.
- Don’t overthink it.
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If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s overthinking. As soon as we began thinking about moving in I did all my research and found cautionary tale after cautionary tale, making me extremely nervous that it would all fall apart when we moved in together. Eventually I just had to trust that I was making a good decision based on logic and jump in! I always recommend doing your research, but after you’ve checked all the boxes with your partner trust your gut and know that you have the tools to make it!
Yes, there may be some fights about weird household items and some honest conversations about habits but this is also a really special point in a relationship so don’t forget that. Have fun, be silly, and know that if you are both committed to learning even more about each other then a new place will only add more love!