The worst thing about betrayal is that it does not come from strangers. The only people who can betray us are the ones we allow to be a big part of our lives. I thought if I ever had the opportunity to talk about what happened I would spend most of my time talking about how hurt I was or all the bad things you did to me, how badly I miss you, or how after everything I did for you, you still broke me. However, after a little time I realized all the good in your goodbye.
I spent my first two years of college uninvolved and feeling like an outcast. I detached myself from my family, friends, and from the world around me. I think most of it was because I thought of you as a safety net, someone to protect me and always make sure I was content.
I realize now it was more of you holding me back, and that my insecurities came from you. Now, I have taken a big step out of my comfort zone. I made some new friends, went out of my way to reconnect with old ones and I’ve made myself at home again in my own life. Thank you for showing me that you are not the only person I need in my life.
I spent most of my time helping you, often forgetting that I also needed to help myself. I had forgotten how it felt to actually care about my own feelings instead of always protecting yours. I somehow lost touch of who I was. I was so consumed and overwhelmed with your life, I didn’t realize that I didn’t have a life of my own.
I learned a lot about myself after everything that happened. I learned that I like to go out and try new things instead of just spending time with you. I learned that there are a lot of things I was missing out on because I never had time for any of them when I was taking care of you. Thank you for showing me that you do not define me, I am my own person.
I do not think I ever really experienced rejection from a situation I had no control over. I did not get a say, my opinion didn’t matter, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Now I realize that not everything can or does work out. There’s not always a happy ending, and sometimes life’s just not fair. Nevertheless, there is always good that comes with the bad. I think if it was not for you walking away, rejecting me, and giving me no control over the situation I would have never grown. Now I will be able to hear the word no and be able to continue on to something else.
Thank you for showing me that rejection is okay; you just take it and learn from it.
It’s still heart breaking when I think about what happened, I get a knot in my stomach when I hear your name, and sometimes I still wonder is any of this real. But I must close this letter by saying thank you.
Thank you for showing me you are not all I needed, for helping me to become my own person, and for helping me to learn from rejection. Most of all thank you for breaking me because I took all the broken pieces and turned them into something better than anything I could have done with you still in my life.