A pandemic like COVID-19 is hard at the best of times – but when you happen to be in a long-distance relationship and the pandemic has made it increasingly difficult to travel, life becomes a little bit harder. As somebody who is in a long-distance relationship all year round, when COVID-19 hit my city, it was like my whole world came crashing down. This might sound dramatic, but my significant other means everything to me, and I am constantly counting down to the next time I get to see them. As two busy people that struggle to find a time that works for both of us to see each other, coronavirus posed an even bigger problem because of its inevitability. But, there are certain things that I find help!
As somebody who has been in a long-distance relationship for a little over 2 years now, I am no stranger to finding unconventional solutions to these problems I have stumbled across. As hard as it is to be separated from my loved one, there are simple solutions that, while they don’t solve the issue of being able to hold one another, make the distance seem a little bit easier to handle. One thing that I love doing that helps bring me back to my S.O. at the end of a long day is having a meal together. This doesn’t have to be a regular thing that you do, but I find that video chatting and eating dinner together can help simulate that typical end-of-day wind down that other couples have. Even if we can’t have dinner together because our schedules clash, sometimes we will plan our meals so that they’re the same thing, giving the illusion that we are eating dinner together – it’s nice knowing that even though you’re not eating at the same table as your significant other, you have a connection in what you’re eating.
Another thing that I find helpful is video chatting instead of doing a regular phone call. There is something extremely comforting about not only hearing my significant other’s voice, but seeing their face attached to it. The technology is there for a reason – Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, whatever your video chatting preference is, use it! And while you’re on that video call, talk about future plans. Something that has helped me see through the COVID-19 haze is talking to my S.O. about when we can move in together – once we finish college, start our life together, and whatever happens from then on. Picturing our future helps me to realize that it really isn’t that far away, and try to cherish memories of this time and to learn never to take our time together for granted.
The last thing that I’ve learned, which is arguably the most important, is that you have to accept how indefinite this pandemic is. As someone who normally likes to plan everything out (I write lists upon lists of things that need to get done) COVID-19 was not on any plan that I had written out for myself. Accepting that nothing can be set in stone now – like how visits might be interrupted by COVID scares when your roommate comes home sick, or you can’t have guests in your dorm because of how strict your school is being – is extremely important. If I threw a fit every time something in my relationship didn’t go my way during this pandemic, I’d look like an angry toddler. But accepting that “it is what it is” Gen Z mindset has actually really helped (pro tip, it’s a lot harder than it looks if you’re a control freak). Write a letter to your S.O, have a weekly movie night and alternate who gets to choose the movie, or even just set out an hour or so to catch up and tell each other about your week so far. These are all things that my significant other and I have done, and they help immensely when trying to have intimacy from a distance. Also, keep in mind that no two relationships are the same! What works for me might not work for you, but that’s okay. As long as you have each other, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter that you are separated. What matters is how you feel about each other and how that can transcend any distance. Yes, long-distance relationships are hard, but there are simple ways to connect with each other from a distance.