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A Letter To The Girl *Still* Texting and Checking Up On Her Ex

Breakups are hard…it’s as simple as that. 

Whether you loved them deeply, or it was a friendship turned relationship and is now on bad terms, it’s never easy. 

As much as we girls say that it’s over, it’s really hard to let go completely at first. But it just takes repetition and the realization that it’s truly over and they’re not going to change and be the person you want for us to really let them go.

However, even with how painful breakups can be, the only thing worse than the breakup itself is seeing your ex with someone new. We’ve all been there, but the time apart can make one or the other realize what they truly want in a significant other. If it’s not you, then you definitely need to let go ASAP.  

No one ever wants to be seen as the crazy ex…and we all know guys will always tell their buddies or the girl they’re chasing after how crazy their ex is…but girls are just as guilty as guys in this. If you don’t leave them alone and you’re still texting them months after the breakup, you’re not only going to get negative attention but you’re going to be seen as the annoying and crazy ex that can’t let it go. And to me, that’s almost like reliving the breakup. 

Just save your time and feelings and put your phone down. 

The reason for this is that once that person has moved on you should not be asking how they are.

What some people need to realize is that if they want to talk to you, they will text you I promise.

If they truly care about you, they always come back. It’s inevitable. I even know from experience; there’s a difference between fighting for someone you love, and holding onto someone who will never want you back. Let that person try and be happy with someone else after time.

I’ve seen my the guy I love date someone else and I left his relationship alone. This worked for me for a while–only for him to one day randomly text, Snapchat me, or like a photo or tweet of mine on social media hoping I’d get the message and text him. When those games didn’t work, I would always receive a text out of the blue from him about how much he missed me and how he realized I was truly the best he had and wanted me back. 

The way you know the person you used to date is over you is when you don’t receive that text saying that they miss you. And trust me, it won’t take long to realize whether or not you’re going to get that text from them or not.

Just save yourself the time and the hurt trying to find conversation with your ex. If they want to talk to you they will

What some people need to realize early on is that if you’re not with the person you’re checking up on, there was and maybe still is a reason they weren’t happy enough to stay with you. So for yours and their new S/O’s sake, leave them alone and let them be happy with someone else. 

If you were the dumper in this situation here’s a tip for future reference if you don’t want your ex checking up on you as much and thinking they still have a chance. 

Our generation is so engulfed in the idea of social media and how much of presence it has in relationships.

So, if you’re not all about posting pictures or putting all over social media about how happy you are now with someone else (after all, mature relationships don’t need likes on their photos to show people how happy they are because they’re simply just happy) just straight up tell your ex in the first place that you weren’t happy with them. Don’t beat around the bush: just grow a pair and get it over with sooner than later. You don’t need to explain your new relationship because it’s none of their business if they’re not dating you. You just simply tell them they’re not for you and tell them they need to let you go. And for this, there’s only *one* way to go about it and avoid the most collateral damage. 

Be honest, if you tell a girl “I just don’t have time for you right now” they’re going to subconsciously think you’re still theirs until you can prioritize the time. It may seem harsh to tell them you just never really liked them or you don’t have feelings anymore, but it’s healthier and saves the explaining later when they attack you about who the girl you were kissing or seen at a party with was. 

You’re only hurting yourself if you’re half in a relationship and stringing along the other person or just using them for reasons like sex. 

Just be honest in the first place to avoid drama. 

Overall whether you’re religious or not, fate and destiny works in mysterious ways. Things don’t just happen out of nowhere. Something has caused everything in your life to happen. Whether it was one conversation you had with your significant other that changed their view on you or not, you can’t control what happens after that.

You will end up where you need to be, with the person you’re meant to be with. Just live your life, be happy for others, and be patient. No matter how much it hurts to see someone you thought was good for you with someone else, someone just as good if not better for you will come along as some point. Just give it time.

Paris Enthusiast. Macaron Lover. Lacrosse Player. Avid Photo Taker. Social Media Junkie. Travel Bug. ​ Born in Dallas Texas, but raised in the cities of West Chester, Pennsylvania, and Greenville, South Carolina. Ann Marie is a twenty-one year old student athlete living in Rock Hill, South Carolina where she attends Winthrop University as a mass communication major.  ​Currently, she is the Editor-in Chief, Campus Coorespondant and one of the social media directors of her college's Her Campus chapter where she edits articles, runs her chapter, and assists in running the Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest page. She also helps write articles with a team of 50+ writers who put out content daily. On top of Her Campus Winthrop and classes, Ann Marie plays on the Women's Lacrosse Team at Winthrop at the Division 1 level. Over the years, Ann Marie has learned the value of hard work, developed skills of teamwork, as well as expanded her knowledge marketing, writing, editing, publishing, social media and communication skills, which will give her the ability to be successful in any field.  Outside of her busy lifestyle, she enjoys being home with her family, dogs, and twin. On the weekends she likes to plan adventures with her friends and is on the ultimate search for America's best pistachio macaron, and dreams about going back to Paris, France and eat all the baguettes France has. Her dream is to inspire people and spread positivity while becoming a travel blogger taking pictures of her adventures and sharing them with the world. Ann Marie aspires to be like Blair Waldorf and can't live without her phone, french fries, Demi Lovato music, Gossip Girl, and of course chicken nuggets.
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