Though abortion has been a hot topic debate for a while now, it’s normally addressed in vague and impersonal terms. All women who have had abortions seem to be lumped together into one category, but abortion varies by race, age, income, culture and more.
In an effort to have her story heard, one Winthrop Student, who chose to stay anonymous, has decided to share her abortion experience with hopes that both men and women can be free to decide whether and when to become parents.
How old were you when you had an abortion?
20
Why did you feel as though abortion was the right option for you?
I was incredibly immature and naive, and the fact that I got pregnant so young and recklessly proved that. I could barely take care of myself, much less take care of a child.
Did you consider any alternatives to abortion?
I think adoption is a wonderful option–-but it wasn’t for me. I didn’t believe I would be strong enough to carry a child.
How involved was the birth father in your decision to have an abortion?
When I told him, I was sure he wouldn’t believe me and I would go through it alone. We weren’t dating, or even talking for that matter. When I told him, he immediately told me that he would be there for me through whatever decision I made and that if I needed him he would be there for me. I never in a million years would have though he would have been so supportive.
How involved was your family in your decision to have an abortion?
Both of my parents actually favored the decision to have an abortion. It was actually the father’s mom who didn’t want me to go through with it, but his parents and mine were supportive either way which was an extreme blessing. I know many girls don’t have the support system I had.
Who were some of the people you discussed the decision with and how did they respond?
I only told one friend, the birth father and his parents, and my parents. It was a personal decision. Many of my close friends now don’t know about it. And they shouldn’t.
What were your biggest fears about having an abortion?
That’s a tough question. I guess I was afraid I would regret it later down the line, but I don’t at all.
Describe the day and the process of your abortion.
Well, I think many people, including myself, have the wrong idea about the abortion process. It’s not like you just get pregnant, decide to have an abortion and go have to procedure the next day.
The clinic has to make sure an abortion is a decision you have made, not something your parents, boyfriend, or peers are pressuring you to do. I had to meet with the clinic counselor about 3 times before the procedure. She asked me questions about my life, health status, and family. She made me understand that this was not a form of birth control, and that it was a serious personal decision.
The day of, I spoke with her one last time and sat in a waiting room with many other women. I think I was surprised at how diverse it was. It wasn’t just young minorities…there were older women, young women and women of all colors.
What physical or emotional aspects of abortion surprised you?
The doctors were extremely professional yet comforting. It was painless physically, but emotionally, I was kind of a wreck. I felt like a hypocrite because I was so relieved. For years, I had always said that I only believed in abortion if the woman had been raped or something horrible like that. But, what I didn’t know at that time was that I had no right to say what another woman should do with her body.
Did you ever second-guess your abortion decision?
Not at all.
Do you think about what your life would be like if you hadn’t had an abortion?
Sometimes. But then I think about my life now. I can’t say what I would be like if I would have had the baby. But I can say what type of person I am now. I can’t speak for all women who have had an abortion, but I am a much more responsible, strong, and independent woman. Unprotected sex is not an option now. Finishing school is not an option. When I do decide to have children, I’ll be ready. Financially, mentally and emotionally.
What was your stance on abortion before you became pregnant?
Abortion is fine – only if she is raped, poor, or has no support system.
What is your stance on abortion today?
A woman should be able to do what she wants with HER body. No matter the circumstances. Amy Brenneman recently shared her abortion story with Cosmopolitan and summed it up perfectly, “All American, men and women, should be free to decide whether and when to become parents,” and I couldn’t agree more.
What advice would you give other women considering abortion?
Go through all of your options and be sure that it is the right decision for you. And also, be sure you’re doing it for you–and no one else.