Ever since I was a young girl, I have always been known as a “yes woman”, or a “people pleaser”. With the inability to say no, I constantly find myself feeling pressured into pleasing others and not putting myself first. With that being said, I feel as though the last few months to a year have been seasons of self-growth that have made such a positive impact on who I am and who I want to become. Once graduating High School and completing my first year of College, I started to realize my own toxic trait and was determined to better myself. By getting out of toxic relationships, whether that means romantically or platonically, I have been able to thrive and find myself all on my own. The journey to self-love, self-appreciation, and cultivating healthy relationships was a long road for me this summer and is still a current endeavor. Here are some reminders and concepts I used for myself that I hope you can benefit from as well:
- Self-Care is not selfish.
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It took me a very long time to realize the importance of taking care of myself. Whether that meant a spa night with a bubble bath and a face mask, taking a midnight drive with Taylor Swift blaring with the windows down, having a mom-daughter date of watching my favorite movie, While You Were Sleeping, or simply going to Sonic to get a cookie dough blast, these are all ways to provide relief for myself. It is okay to say no to plans if need be to take time for yourself or, on the contrary, to decide on spontaneous plans last minute.
- Confidence is not equivalent to cockiness.
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I have always been one to depend on others for affirmation, but allowing myself the chance to be my own hype woman is totally justifiable. Being comfortable with myself is not a crime. There is no harm in getting your hair done, taking cute car selfies and posting them on Instagram with a cute caption. Go off, sis. Having confidence in yourself is crucial to managing a healthy level of self esteem. Confidence helps ignite a fire in your soul that can motivate oneself to strive to be the best they can be.
- Find a new, healthy hobby
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Over the summer, I got into the habit of working out multiple times a week. I would come home at night from my two jobs and motivate myself to go back out to the gym in order to create and keep this healthy cycle. Although there were some days I was exhausted from working with kids, being on my feet, running a store alone all day, I found that once I got to the gym and started moving, none of that mattered and I was now feeling great. This new hobby was not only beneficial to myself physically, it was also a positive experience for myself mentally.
- Give yourself time to reflect and appreciate.
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For myself personally, I find inner peace in quiet time. Going to my Bible, reading scripture, analyzing what it means, and then relating it to my life helps keep me grounded and feel centered. Give yourself time to reflect upon your feelings, your accomplishments, the positivity around you. Make a list of who or what you are thankful for, what goals (short-term or long-term) you want to set for yourself, or even listing some cute date ideas for you and your significant other or even just your friends. Do not forget to reach out to those around you and extend your gratitude by letting them know their value to you. Positive, healthy friends can be such inspirations and support systems when going through a period of growth and learning.
Everyone deserves a little “Me time”, never sell yourself short!