Relationships are hard – I think we can all attest to that. Incorporating another person into your life on such a personal and intimate level often entails more than we may initially realize. In agreeing to be in a relationship with another person, we subsequently acknowledge that while we are still independent people, we now also have another individual’s thoughts, feelings, likes, and dislikes to consider at any and all times. This in itself can be difficult enough to handle. So, what happens when you have considerable distance thrown into the mix?
Long-distance relationships, just like normal relationships, have their pros and cons. Many people tend to think that long-distance relationships are doomed from the start – that the only way to have a successful and healthy relationship is to see your significant other on a semi-daily basis. Speaking from personal experience, and with two long-term, long-distance relationships under my belt, I can confidently say that I believe this is untrue.
Relationships are built on common interests, similar values, and basic compatibility; therefore, distance, while it may be an inconvenience, should not be a make-or-break aspect of a relationship. In fact, I wholeheartedly believe that distance can not only positively affect several different aspects of a romantic relationship, but also provide new perspectives you may have previously overlooked – so let me explain.
1. Communication
One of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is effective communication. As humans, all we know about another person is what they choose to tell us, so it’s imperative that we understand how to maturely, clearly, and confidently convey our feelings. When it comes to long-distance relationships, in general, the face-to-face interaction is either removed or significantly decreased, thus placing a heavy importance on effective technological communication (texting, FaceTime, etc.). In other words, distance forces you to better your communication skills for the sake of maintaining your relationship, but in doing so, you’re able to improve a set of skills that will have lasting, positive impacts on not only you and your partner, but other relationships as well.
2. Trust
Healthy relationships are built on trust, point blank. You can’t have a successful relationship if you’re constantly obsessing over what your significant other is doing, where they’re doing it, and who they’re doing it with. When it comes to LDR’s, you don’t have much choice other than to trust your significant other. While being separated from your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t necessarily ideal, understanding that despite their lack of physical presence, your partner trusts you do go about your daily life and still honor and respect the connection you both share, and that’s a wonderful feeling.
3. You Get to Miss Them
It’s obvious that committing to a LDR means seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend significantly less than you probably want – and that sucks. But think about how happy it makes you to see pictures of them, think of all the memories you’ve made, and even plan for future adventures together. A lot of times, couples who spend virtually every day together don’t understand what it means to truly miss their significant other. It’s extremely easy to start taking things for granted when they’re constantly available; so, if anything, missing your boyfriend or girlfriend serves to point out how much they actually mean to you, and that is something to be thankful for.
4. Excitement
Just as long-distance relationships allow you to genuinely miss your significant other, LDR’s also provide such an authentic sense of excitement when it comes to seeing them face-to-face. Being away from your partner for so long allows the enthusiasm and emotion involved in seeing them to really hit a new high, and that increased energy can really have a positive influence on the time you get to spend together.
5. Quality Not Quantity
Finally, I’d like to point out the way in which distance influences the appreciation you have for your significant other and the time you get to share. Being physically removed from your boyfriend or girlfriend can definitely take its toll; however, the brief time you do have together is absolutely magical. Every second is a blessing, every laugh is a gift, and not a single moment is taken for granted.
In the end, it shouldn’t matter if your significant other lives in your dorm building or down the street, in the next city over or three states away. Love is a feeling incomparable to any other; it is independent of gender, race, age, and even distance.
So the next time you’re missing your favorite person, or just feeling a little down, remember that your relationship is what you make of it, and even though they aren’t physically beside you, they’re always with you just the same.