Summer.
It’s what we yearn for since the first day of school, a word that we use to romanticize the warm and delicious future when we were stuck in what seemed like a never-ending, freezing cold tundra. I know that you can just picture next summer. Maybe you’ll plan a road trip with the gal pals or maybe you’re imagining the next summer fling that you’ll score. Whatever the case, most summers aren’t what we expect them to be.
This summer was definitely a rollercoaster for me. I had my heart broken by someone who likes to play with girls’ feelings just like he plays softball. I was hurt by a close friend and lost all trust in her. I moved into a new house with more problems than I can count. I’ve created tighter bonds with multiple people.
And I’ve worked the whole summer away.
These last few months have been such a learning point in my life. I have been discovering more about myself as well as more about those around me, so I thought it would be the perfect time to share. Maybe, like myself, you’re at a point in your life where you don’t know what your future holds or you don’t know who has your back. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing or you feel that every way you turn is the wrong way.
Take some time to look through these next few paragraphs. Keep reading to learn five things this past summer has taught me. I hope that they prompt you to think about what you have learned in your own life and how each experience helps you grow.
- What a drunk alcoholic says to you in private will not mean anything when he’s sober.
I’ve had my heart broken far too many times this summer by someone who has a big drinking problem. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is. But, as you guessed it, it doesn’t end there. This man would pull me aside privately, asking for everyone to leave so he could talk to me. He always tugged at my heart strings and made me feel like he would always be there for me, like he wanted the absolute best for me. Don’t get me wrong, we are good friends and I know he meant what he said; it was just the way that those words tumbled out of his mouth made me think that he was the one. Ladies (and gents), I don’t care what a man says to you. If he only says it when he’s drunk, he will be incapable of giving you what you deserve.
The problem with our drunken conversations is that he played me. He knew I had feelings for him and he took advantage of that by getting me to do whatever he wanted, including his own work.
Better yet, he was saying the exact same things that he said to another girl. He was telling her that he wanted to be with her and “treat her like the queen she is” while texting me in a panic that he didn’t want to date her because she was childish.
- You may be too drunk, but you were sober enough to know what you’re doing.
I’m not going to go into detail with this… but if you know how promiscuous you are while you’re under the influence, it may be a good idea that you watch your intake so you don’t sleep with a certain someone and hurt others in the process.
- If your support system leans on the phrase “I told you so” while leaving you hanging to fight your own battles, *news flash* they are not actually supportive.
I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I felt like I didn’t really have anyone to lean on, and it honestly broke my heart more with each passing day. My family would rather tell me they knew something would happen rather than support me. As a young adult, nothing is more stressful than not having anyone to lean on during tough times, especially financial trouble.
- It’s okay to go to the funeral for someone you didn’t know well because their family will appreciate it.
If you are a Winona State student, then you probably received the email about the death of one of our students, Lumono. Lumono and I worked in the Lawn and Garden department at Walmart and while I didn’t know him personally, he was a kind and nice person. He was also really amazing at zoning the store. When Lumono passed away, my coworkers and I were unsure of whether or not to attend his visitation for fear of it being weird to his family. We ended up going, and it was an interesting and emotional experience that I’m glad we decided to attend. The family seemed to appreciate all his friends who went.
- Listen to your friends.
Believe it or not, your friends want what’s best for you. Whether you’re in love with the wrong guy or you are doing something that won’t benefit yourself, your friends want you to grow and not suffer. I know that it may be hard to realize or it may hurt, but listen to them.
While summer is a time to relax and enjoy yourself, it’s also a great time to figure out who you really are. It’s okay if this three-month period is filled with lessons (even if you’re not taking those dreaded summer classes), because it’s important to learn and grow.