The older you get, the more you consider the eventual things that come with the future like meeting someone great and getting married. Luckily, I’ve already found one of those things with my boyfriend. We’re high school sweethearts and we’ve been together for 5 1/2 years. Weddings and getting married are something we’ve talked about over the years, but I thought I’d revisit the topic and get his viewpoint on a few questions that came to mind. All dialogue will be labeled M for my boyfriend’s name, Marshal, and I for my name.
What’s the first thing you think of when you think of weddings?
M: It’s kind of an event that involves family––a show for the family to reaffirm your feelings around other people. I already know how I feel about you––it’s kind of a spectacle for a family to show how much people love each other. I don’t think the perfect wedding really exists––it’s kind of an impossible task. Just having an adequate wedding is good as long as it makes our family see how much we care about each other.
I: So you don’t really see a wedding as a romantic thing?
M: Not really, I can see how some people may get that feeling with all the expensive things and people dressed to the nines. It seems like reaffirming our feelings and almost for appearances. It doesn’t feel romantic to me. In my opinion, I already feel like we are already married, considering how long we’ve been together and how long we’ve been in love. Marriage is just a document or making it official on paper. It’s something we’ll do together if you want a romantic wedding, but I just don’t see it that way.
Do you have a dream wedding?
M: Not really, when you’re a kid you just want to have a crazy big wedding. I have a vague memory of dreaming of getting married as a kid. It was some sort of hip-hop wedding with an animated character. It’s good that people have a dream wedding. But it can’t be perfect, and I don’t have anything specific in mind.
I: Just because you want a dream wedding doesn’t mean that it has to be perfect.
M: I feel like that’s kind of the thing that people aim for, but nothing is perfect. And that’s what can make a wedding great is sharing an imperfect time together.
What’s something that’s a no for your wedding? And what is an absolute must?
M: My absolute no would be any drama. The drama between our families would be infuriating on our wedding day. My absolute yes is I would want all of my close friends and family to be there. I’m gonna want a lot of groomsmen. I want everyone I love to be there. It would be a chance to reconnect with old friends and distant family.
I: I absolutely don’t want a big wedding, so that’s kind of where we’re at odds. I’d much rather keep it small and simple. I would definitely want to still have the beautiful wedding dress. I need to have my Say Yes to the Dress moment at least in some way.
Do you think weddings are necessary?
M: Not really, It’s all for show. It’s not really important to me. I’d rather spend my money on something else and elope. I want you to feel like you have a choice on whether we have a wedding or elope. I know how you feel, but I want to enjoy the experience with our friends and family.
What do you think about the growing number opting out of marriage or eloping?
M: Opting out of marriage is understandable—it’s just a document. Why pay a crazy amount that’s involved with having a wedding? It’s just a bunch of baloney. It’s commendable to get married in my opinion. We could honestly opt-out of it too, but I know how you feel about it. I would really prefer for it to be a big gathering.
I: Yeah, I’m definitely gonna need a wedding of some sort in our future.
What would you think about me getting an expensive wedding dress or the idea of a bride’s dream dress?
M: I think it would be best to rent a wedding dress.
I: You can do that? I’m gonna have to look that up. I think I’d rather just buy my own dress, but that’s interesting.
Do you have a vision of what you’d want me to look like as a bride?
M: Simple, I want you to show off your best features and your style while still having your dress be budget-friendly.
I: We definitely have different visions on how we’d want me to look. I just know that my dress will have lace and be everything I’ve thought about since I was a little girl.
Would you ever consider eloping?
M: I would consider it, but I would feel a bit robbed because I wouldn’t be able to celebrate with everyone.
I: I don’t really see it that way. I feel like eloping would be something more intimate and just for the bride and groom.
M: I guess, initially it seems nice because we could have a great honeymoon. But then again, I don’t really mind not doing that.
Would you want to plan your own wedding?
M: Yes, I feel like hiring someone else feels a little less intimate than the both of us working together to make something happen. It’s like how we scrapbook. We’re both putting equal effort into something as a team. I can show you how much I love you by putting in the effort. I’d prefer something simple for catering like food trucks with dessert or grilled cheese (laughs).
I: I don’t think I would mind that.
Would you ever want a theme wedding?
M: I feel that would be so tacky. I don’t understand it, and it’s kind of lame. It seems like more effort than it’s worth. It would be hard for our family members to understand the theme if it’s very niche and they wouldn’t get the point of it.
Would you wanna get married on a certain date or season?
M: I don’t really have a preference. I’d prefer if we had it on our anniversary; then I’d never forget the date.
I: I could live with that. A summer wedding would be nice. Thanks for letting me interview you!
M: I don’t mind. You can interview me whenever you’d like.
Our conversation revealed a lot regarding our different viewpoints of what weddings may mean to us. It was a bit of a buzzkill to realize what he thought about weddings. But I know that however that may end up, it’ll be a special day for the both of us whether we elope, have a church wedding or shoot for something small.