Yes, I will say it. This is the first time I’ve ever watched The Bachelor. You may be shocked by this, me, a college girl interested in mainstream culture, never viewing The Bachelor. While I’ve seen maybe two episodes and have heard about all the main drama, I never previously had an interest. I don’t know if it was because my mom didn’t watch it so I didn’t start young, because I’m trying to be a feminist, or because I didn’t want to since everyone seems to be obsessed with it. Now that I have been watching this season, it has easily become my guilty pleasure.
I may be a pessimist or just the complete opposite of a hopeless romantic, but I have some very strong thoughts and questions about this show and finding “love” on such a public, televised, impersonal show.
1. I think this is a very toxic environment to try and actually fall in love.
My issue with this environment is that it is nearly impossible for the Bachelor (or Bachelorette) to give their all to each person. You cannot possibly get to know someone extremely well while trying to get to know everyone that is vying for your attention. I believe that to really fall in love you need to be devoted to one person, and the early stages of a relationship are so important. I know that if I were on the show, I would get extremely jealous of all the other women.
2. It is extremely un-feminist.
There are very rare moments on the show where the women are happy for each other when they get a one-on-one date or get a rose. While I get it, because it is a competition, women need to support each other more. Also, the fact that they spend thousands of dollars and take off work to be on the show could be damaging to their career and lifestyle. Why risk that for potential love? Last week’s moment between Kendall and Krystal was amazing, because it was the opposite of what usually happens on the show. Kendall is now the most genuine participant on this season.
3. What do these women expect coming into the show?
The man chosen to be the bachelor is obviously picked according to how likeable he is, and obviously he is easy to fall in love with. But the show is designed to treat the women like queens in such an unrealistic dating scene, so no wonder. The relationship outside of the show will be very different, so I’d be concerned that he would be very different off camera. People act differently when they know they’re being watched.
Overall, I’m kind of addicted to the show. I do watch for the drama, and I turn my rational, realistic brain off for two hours. Just from my perspective, I think a reality TV show about finding love is dumb. The quest for love is something too vulnerable and heavy-hearted to exploit. I definitely understand that a lot of the women are probably be on the show just to be on it, but some actually do want to find love and the others do not respect that.