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Sex + Relationships

The Message That Was Never Sent: Our Breakup Aftermath

“I need to understand something because what you did to me wasn’t fair at all. You strung me along the whole time, and you didn’t even care. Do you think it’s okay to do that to a girl?


You knew weeks before you asked me out that we were going to different colleges a couple hours away from each other. If you had a problem with long-distance relationships you should’ve realized it before you asked me out and before I fell for you. I asked you multiple times before dating, (including the day you decided to blindside me) if you could handle a long-distance relationship. You would always say you were ready for one, but you began to act weird. You never wanted to hang out, you took forever to reply to me, and when you did it was in short messages. You just lost interest in me in the blink of an eye. You would say how tired you were and that you didn’t want to hang out, yet you’d go and hang out with your friends. You went from Facetiming me on a Sunday night showing me off to all your new college friends to saying it’s over in the matter of five days.


If you had a problem with dating me and wanted to break up for who knows how long, you should have broken up with me in person—not at midnight of my mom’s birthday. Sure, I asked if you still wanted to be together, but, damn, you should’ve respected me enough to break my heart face-to-face. I stayed up until sunrise overthinking if you even cared about me, and this whole time my thoughts were correct. You never asked if I was okay or how my day was. I guess I should’ve paid more attention to those red flags, but my feelings for you were too strong.


After you said “Goodnight” on the night you broke up with me, I was awake until 4 AM crying and having an anxiety attack. I’m not very close with my mom, but I was hurting so bad that I texted her and she held me as I cried on her birthday all night long. So much for a happy birthday present. She eventually had to give me sleeping pills because I just kept crying. You broke something in just two minutes that took my mom nine months to create. Obviously, it’s going to take a while to heal.


I don’t know why I was so hurt by you because we only dated for a month or so. Time doesn’t define how hard you fall for someone, though. You were lucky enough to walk away hurt-free, but here I am drowning in pain. I saw a future with us because you seemed like such a great guy, but I guess I misread how you felt. I could never create a future with someone who is so selfish, nor can I just forget about a person in a second. I have cried so many tears over you, and yes, I still do every now and then because the pain will be forever terrible.


Don’t walk away thinking you did the mature thing here because you didn’t. My graduation party was 10 times harder than it had to be because my family would ask about you since I was expecting us to still be dating. Silly me, right? My heart is too big to be hurt by a guy like you, but here I am: broken. I’m not friends with ice cold people, so there’s no way we could be friends; every time you cross my mind, I still get mad and sad. I could never be friends with such a toxic person. I hope you have a great life, but I also hope you don’t continue to string along any more girls.


P.S. I found out one of the reasons you broke up with me was because there were too many opportunities to cheat at college. I guess being loyal was too hard for you to handle, how sad is that.”


I don’t really have any motivation to fall in love again because people are just too heartless. I’ve never had a good experience with love—and I mean the cliché love where they get you flowers just because, drive hours to see you, and call you every night. I would love to experience that, but I don’t believe I’ll be able to open my heart like that again. I have no point to because it’s too scary to trust someone these days. I have experienced love before, but not in this relationship, so this wasn’t my first heart-wrenching time—it certainly won’t be the last.


To all the folks of an older generation, please don’t tell your teenage daughters or sons that they know nothing about love, because that’s just not true. It is very much possible for young people to fall in love.



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