National Youth Confidence Day is October 20, so I decided to write a letter to my younger self. I am nearly 21 and have been looking back on my childhood quite a bit. I know that I still have plenty of years ahead of me, but there are also 21 years of life behind me. In those years, I have made many mistakes, but I have also learned countless lessons. So, here it goes.
Dear Cheyenne Halberg,
You don’t know me yet, but I am your future self. I know all of the mistakes you have made and have yet to make. But do not worry: they are making you grow into the person that I am today. Since I am you, I know exactly what is going on inside your head. The first is that you feel as though everybody eventually leaves you. You are beautiful, smart and endlessly caring. The people who leave your life just weren’t meant to be there. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you. The people who are meant to be in your life will come and stay. Do not change yourself for others.
That brings me to my second point. The goofiness that radiates from you, and the spunk that you bring to every social event, is the epitome of who you are. You make others happy when there is no other light in their life. You are worried that your goofiness makes you weird, but let me tell you something, my dear: weirdness is something to embrace, for nobody normal is ever remembered vividly. I am still reminding myself of this, so it is okay if you have moments of doubt, but, honey, normal isn’t in your DNA, and that is okay.
You are smart. There is no doubt about that. But you need to know that grades and school do not define your worth. You need to put down the books and make actual memories. Go to a party. Join a couple of clubs. Try out a sport! Take time for yourself because it will fly by.
You know I couldn’t leave this letter without relationship advice. Each person that you date now has, indeed, shaped the person I am today. There will be really good moments, but there will also be really bad ones. Don’t let anybody treat you less than you deserve. Girly, you know what you are worth. The constant cancellation of dates, flirting with other girls and inferior feelings that your significant others give you is not real love. If he makes you feel unsafe, there is probably a reason for that. Follow your gut. You are always seeking approval from everyone, but some people you seek approval from don’t even deserve your attention. Your worth comes from your own self.
You will feel as though it is okay for there to be an abundance of negatives in relationships because of what you grew up with. The fighting that you see in your parent’s relationship is not a normal thing. Honey, this does not have to be your future. You will inevitably develop slight trust issues because of your parents, but I will tell you something: not all marriages are like that. You are strong, and you can’t let others define your life. You will eventually find someone that treats you like a queen.
There is still so much more that I could tell you, but I will make this the last point.
You are loved.
That feeling in you that says you are not loved is just your depression talking. There will be numerous moments where you don’t see a point in living. But if you end your life in any one of those moments, then you will be missing out on the things that mean the most to you. No matter what, keep fighting. It will get tiring, and you will want to give up, but you must keep going.
So many people love you, and you have so much to see and feel still.
Lovingly,
Your Future Self
You should take a moment of your time to remind the young people in your life how much they mean to you. National Youth Confidence Day isn’t just for personal reflection. It is for the children in our lives to recognize their worth. Remind them and tell them all the things that you needed to hear as a child.