On Halloween, the best part is sorting through trick-or-treat sweets. Some may create a “Monster Mash” in your mouth, while others bring about a spooky scream. As October’s scariest day approaches, I ranked the candies in my opinion from most to least likely to haunt you long after the wrapper is gone.
1. Candy Corn: This autumnal atrocity is like eating a Yankee candle. It’s waxy and turns to an odd texture after (reluctantly) biting each color individually to decide which is the worst. If the original isn’t bad enough, Brach’s Candies had to go and besmirch the good name of brunch by making Fall Brunch Favorites Candy Corn. The offended foods include French toast with maple syrup, waffles & strawberries, and chocolate chip pancakes. I give this 0/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
2. Good and Plenty: Two words–black licorice. Terrified yet? You should be. While they might be coated in white and pink hard candy shells, these capsules will take more than a spoonful of sugar to help this medicine-inspired candy go down… to the bottom of my trick-or-treat bag. 0/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
3. Heath Bar: A toffee chocolate bar is definitely not suitable for Halloween. They’re hard to bite into, crumble all over you as soon as you do, and leave an aftertaste that takes several other candies to replace. This bar isn’t all bad though, and it does offer a certain level of All Hallow’s Eve enjoyment to the right troupe of tricksters. 2/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
4. Dots: In small quantities, these gumdrops aren’t the worst Halloween offender. They are nut-free, gluten-free, but if you eat too many of them, they’re also flavor-free. But they are a delightful assortment of colors and come in a cute little yellow box, raising its Jack-O-Lantern rating to 3/10.
5. Smarties: Smarties are an iconic candy that add an interesting appearance to any bag of Halloween loot. If you can get past the super sweet chalky aftertaste, this candy in moderation is pretty good with a nostalgic wrapper design. 5/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
6. Snickers: Despite the name, this candy is no laughing matter. With smooth caramel and crunchy peanuts, this bar is a staple to any Halloween candy assortment. 6/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
7. Twix: There aren’t any Twix up my sleeve here; this candy really deserves its spot at #7 on the list. Whether you’re left Twix or right Twix, both sides are delicious. The mini-Twix are even cuter and still chock-full of chocolate-y goodness with a shortbread cookie center. 7/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
8. Milky Way: Get ready to be transported to another world if you find this treat in your goodie bag. These sweets are the perfect mix of chocolate, nougat and caramel! If you have the willpower to not eat them immediately, pop them in the freezer for a surprisingly good frozen treat. 8/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
9. 3 Musketeers: These bars are whipped to chocolate perfection and taste like the best cloud imaginable. The best Halloween comes from 3x as many 3 Musketeers in my bag as any other candy. 9/10 Jack-O-Lanterns.
10. Pumpkin-Shaped Reese’s: There’s something that makes the shaped Reese’s cups so much more terrifyingly tasty than the original. The shapes scream spooky but the actual candy screams “finally” as we all wait for October 31 to roll out the reigning supreme trick-or-treat sweet. These are hands-down the best Halloween candy. 10/10 Jack-O-Lanterns!
As you begin your trick-or-treat trek on Halloween, I hope this handy list of gross to ghoulishly great sweets turns raiding the candy buckets into a screeching good time!
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