Dear Guydance,
After how many times of sleeping with a guy do I ask about “what we are”? Do I not even go there? I don’t want to come across as annoying.
-Confused
Dear Confused,
This is a totally legit question and I’m ready to hopefully knock it out of the park. I’m not going to lie, this is a very sticky situation, but totally manageable. By you asking me this I’m going to assume that you’re interested in him now. Here’s the good news; obviously you’re either really good in bed or he likes you, and if it’s a grand slam; both. So if all else fails just know that at least you have that going for ya.
Next step, definitely talk to the guy, BUT DO NOT bring this up after you… you know…. do the deed, or if you watch a movie, anything like that, don’t bring it up. This is a conversation that should happen at lunch, coffee, study date; like that. Please, please, PAHLEASE, be blunt when you bring this up too. Don’t beat around the bush, because quite frankly the situation you’re in right now is already exactly that. Just straight up tell him how you feel, make the move and ask him “What are we?”
Hell, if you think you want something more with him then you should start with honesty now. There’s not a better time. If you’re okay with sleeping together, just let him know. If you do want to pursue something, this is where it has to start. There’s a possibility you’ll blindside him a bit and he’ll need some time to think, this is totally acceptable, but when he’s thinking about this don’t keep sleeping with him. Find out what you are first, this is your life too and you gotta do what makes you happy. If any of your friends decide to give you grief just remember that people meet in interesting ways.
Ultimately, you definitely should bring it up but it’s essential you do it at an appropriate time because otherwise you’re not going to get a full thought from him. Like I said, it’s your life, so you gotta do what makes you happy and whatever that is, you deserve to know exactly where this stands.
Good Luck!Adam Bartusek
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