As I perused the endless queues on Netflix for something to binge watch, I stumbled across Bonding. The show itself is described as raunchy, witty and heartfelt, all of which I would agree with. I found it in the “Watch in a Weekend” list, and that I did.
(cue Rihanna singing “sticks and stones may break my bones // but chains and whips excite me na na na na come on”)
Season 1 has seven episodes ranging from 13-17 minutes long. The total watch time comes to 1 hr, 48 min. Season 2, which was a new release, has eight episodes ranging from 16-21 minutes, with a watch time of 2 hours and 32 minutes.
All together, it took me 4 hours and 20 minutes to watch. But I have a feeling this show will bind its way into my brain for much longer than that. Let me tell you why.
*minor spoilers*
The show begins with Tiffany “Tiff” Chester (played by Zoe Levin) as she works as a dominatrix named Mistress May to pay for grad school to be a therapist. She happens to run into an old high school friend named Pete (played by Brendan Scannell). Pete desperately needs money; Tiff desperately needs an assistant.
And so, they fall into a comical mistress and mistress assistant partnership that finds itself working up unresolved issues from high school. Because this isn’t the first time Pete (who goes by Carter when in dominatrix settings) has felt like Tiff has the upper hand, the dominating force in their relationship.
A climactic unwitting friendship flashback takes us to the time that Tiff and Pete had sex on prom night. Although Pete is now gay, the short-lived sex encounter resulted in a pregnancy which Tiff did not go through with. They went their separate ways for college, never to get to the bottom of the bond. And yet, Tiff and Pete still find themselves tethered to one another in intricate ways, which makes the show compelling to watch amidst the entertaining aspect of people getting paddled or strapped into harnesses.
I think the show does a great job working in how this type of sex work can restrict (pun intended) vulnerability in relationships. It’s an assertion of dominance and subordination… to be open enough to admit that they need someone. This is shown in all the characters presented: from the budding go-go dancer who wants to support his girlfriend and unborn child, to the closeted boyfriend who stands up to his own kink-positive father.
There’s enough humor to make some of the cringe-inducing sexual encounters worth it, but the characters enrich the somewhat rag-tag group with a web of backstories that’s (master)fully made.
Here are 3 lessons I learned from watching Bonding.
1. Communication is key.
Although this goes for safe words mentioned in the sex aspect of the show, many of the characters face difficult parts of life outside leather and whips. Talking things through is vital to all kinds of relationships.
2. Life begins outside the comfort zone.
Both Tiff and Pete have to come to grips with parts of their life that they were initially scared to try for fear of failure. Tiff was scared to try a new relationship for fear of getting hurt; Pete was scared to try his hand at being a comedian. But with the support of each other, they found that taking risks can pay off.
3. Don’t be bound by past mistakes.
It’s not touched upon until late in the second season, but many of the characters find themselves choked by “what ifs” and fear that they can’t be successful. It’s only when they’re able to let them go and confide in those they care about that the obstacle is then overcome.
This show broached subjects of BDSM, LGBTQ+ issues, relationships, friendships and life, in all the weird and wonderful ways. I hope if you watch Bonding, you get S+M(ore) out of it like I did.